last Monday i decided the PSE and i should take the Monster to the dog park.
the Monster hates the dog park, it is full of other dogs and that is frightening to her because she is poorly socialized.
i am poorly socialized too and would hate to be dragged to a big field where assholes kept trying to engage with me, but, the PSE and i keep trying to force her because i guess we think we should.
the PSE didn't have any interest in going out to the dog park, either.
it was 102 degrees out and it felt like 117.
the PSE is a pussy about the heat but even i find Fort Worth Summers oppressive and i am normally a fucking lizard.
i expected that i would have to nag the PSE to get her to the dog park, or even just take the Monster by myself, but to my happy surprise she came along without too much complaint.

when we got to the dog park a few miles away we were surprised to find that they were closed on Mondays.
why would a dog park ever need to close? it's a fucking field surrounded by a fence.
there is nobody who works there, no reason at all that it would require downtime.
maybe for maintenance? to scoop up all the poops? but how long does that take?
anyways, the PSE and i weren't the only ones taken by surprise by the park being closed and locked up, there were dozens of people coming in and out of the parking lot, walking to the gate, finding it locked and shaking their head in bewilderment.
but the dog park is just a tiny fraction of the larger park beyond and the PSE and i decided to just walk the Monster in the sprawling park beyond.
it may have previously been a golf course, it had that kind of terrain, but we're not sure.

so the PSE and the Monster and i walked around the trails in the park for the better part of an hour.
whenever we came upon another dog walking the trail we put the Monster on a leash because she is shite around other animals, but when we had the paths to ourselves she was off leash and well-behaved.
at some point we came upon a turtle, a giant motherfucker about the size of a hubcap, with a long, scaly tail and a mossy shell.
he was a long way from the nearest pond and the PSE and i had no idea what he was doing so far inland.
maybe looking for a place to spawn? maybe looking for a place to die? maybe looking for a new source of food? maybe just having himself an adventure.
the PSE, the Monster and i stood around taring at him for a while before continuing on our way.
later, as we were walking back toward the parking lot we saw an older woman who may have been a prostitute in another life with two small children we assumed were her grandchildren trying to feed the big bastard some dry cat food.
why she had dry cat food on hand in the middle of a park, i don't know.
the turtle did not seem interested

after an hour or so the PSE, Monster and i left the park.
the PSE suggested we go treat ourselves at a frozen custard stand we'd been meaning to try.
i was exhausted, completely drained from walking up and down the rolling hills of the park in the 102 degree sun, but you're never too tired for froze custard.
i fucking love frozen custard!
we drove over to the frozen custard stand and perused the menu for a few minutes.
i eventually went with a cup of Bananarama, which is vanilla custard with bananas, cherries and pineapple chunks.
the PSE went with a cup of chocolate custard with chunks of cookie dough.
i made the better choice, the PSE's treat was a little redundant and with her new braces still making her mouth a bit tender, it was difficult for her to chomp down on the cold cookie dough.
i was a good boyfriend and i shared.

the PSE and i sat out on the patio of the frozen custard stand for a while, enjoying our treats.
the place was busy and there were there were several other families out on the patio with us.
one group couldn't stop talking about Monster. it was complimentary, but still weird.
give it a rest already, creeps.
when we got back to the apartment the PSE and i went into the kitchen and cooked a Thai red curry stew with meatballs.
it was delicious.

-

last Wednesday the Monster had an appointment at the dog dentist to get her teeth cleaned.
there wasn't anything especially wrong with them, but preventative maintenance is important.
several veterinarians that we called wanted to charge us north of $400 dollars to clean the Monster's teeth plus more if she needed extractions, but the PSE did a little research and was able to find a clinic that would do it for $120 if we plead poverty.
there was a six-week wait-list, but that's fine.

six weeks later, last Wednesday, the PSE woke up at 8:00am and drove the Monster over to the clinic.
i kept sleeping because the PSE and i didn't get to bed until 4:30am and we both don't need to suffer.
the PSE waded through a half hour's worth of traffic to get to the north, north north side of Fort Worth and stood in line for the better part of an hour with all the other people trying to get low-cost veterinary services for their pets. most of them were there for spay and/or neuter.
eventually somebody got around to checking the PSE in.
the PSE and i were worried about the Monster losing her shit being away from us but the Veterinary Technician snatched her off into the back before she knew what was happening and left the PSE to settle the bill.
the PSE paid $100 on top of the $20 we'd already pre-paid to secure her appointment, and that included the dental cleaning plus a rabies vaccination that the Monster was overdue for.
the PSE drove back to the house and i would have thought she would have come back to bed but she stayed awake for some dumb reason.

my alarm went off at 1:55pm.
i tended to my morning things, then at 2:40 i got dressed to drive
since the PSE was still awake, she came for the ride.
it took us over a half hour to cut through the mid-afternoon traffic and once we got to the clinic, there was another line of people picking up their pets.
one by one different large dogs would come out through the door to the back, disoriented, wearing cones around their necks and wondering where their nuts went.
eventually it was the Monster's turn.
i watched the technician go into the back and i spotted Monster in her cage.
i was anticipating her to be on edge because the Monster gets on edge about everything but from what i could tell, the Monster was laying there just fine.
i guess the secret is heavy sedatives.

the Veterinary Technician gave the Monster a good report.
she said that her teeth looked nice and clean and sound and they didn't need to remove any.
though, two of the Monster's teeth are loose.
this could be genetic, because the Monster is part Shih-Tzu and Shih-Tzus are prone to losing their teeth or it could be because when she gets left home alone she digs and tears at the carpet with her teeth like an idiot.
it's not a problem right now, though, so that's good.
they packed us off with a liquid antibiotic to squirt down the Monster's throat twice a day for the next few days and we were off.

after we left the low-cost clinic we made a run through the Wendy's drive-through because the PSE was craving a Frostie.
i got a burger while we were there and the PSE got some chicken nuggets and some fries and we sat there and ate in the parking lot like White Trash.
when we were done we threw our garbage in a proper trash can, though, instead of just leaving it there in the parking lot to blow around like tumbleweeds like the other patrons had done.
we have to draw the line somewhere.
it took us over 50 minutes to drive the nine miles back to our apartment in the rush hour traffic.
when we got home, the Monster slept like a baby.

//[ab irato ad astra]
#1)
last May i underwent surgery on my penis to widen my pee-hole.
why? because my Urologist, the only Urologist in town who would accept my shitty Obamacare Insurance, said that i needed the surgery based on a seven-minute consultation and six seconds of examining my dick.
primarily, the surgery was supposed to correct my frequent urination.
i can't go longer then ninety minutes without having to visit the toilet and i wake up three times per night to pee.
so i went under the knife, got my penis all disfigured and now i spray all over the place when i piss and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
which i could live with, i guess, if it meant that i evacuate my bladder like a normal person six or eight times a day.
but after all that trouble, my frequent urination problem remains unaffected. i still have to go all the goddamned time.
i complained to my Urologist at a follow-up appointment and he prescribed me a medication called Myrbetriq.
goddammit, if they make a medication to make me pee less, why didn't you just prescribe that to me first before cutting open my dickhole, you sadist.

before i drove over to the Wal-Mart to pick up my Myrbetriq i figured i ought to call my shite Obamacare Insurance to make sure they'll cover the stuff.
i didn't want to drive all the way to Wal-Mart, the worst place in the free world, and spend a half hour waiting for them to fill my prescription only to tell me that Myrbetriq wasn't covered by my policy.
because that's a thing that happens.
and my instinct was right because when i contacted my Obamacare Insurance they told me i was shit out of luck.
in America, a private health insurance company gets to decided whether or not i get to have the medication my doctor prescribed.
what the fuck kind of system is that?

i asked my Shite Obamacare Insurance what i can do about the situation and they told me i can appeal their decision not to provide me with the medication i need.
that involved my Urologist and the insurance company sending faxes back and forth and never getting back to me with the result.
after a week i called my Urologist and they told me that the insurance company decided that they were right all along, that i shouldn't get to have Myrbetriq and fuck me.
she told me that if i came in, they could give me a month's worth of Myrbetriq free samples and we can go from there.
when i called the Shite Obamacare Insurance, they explained that Myrbetriq is a Tier III Drug whatever the fuck that means, and that they want me to try some different medications first before they'll pay for Myrbetriq.
and that might make sense, but Myrbetriq is the medication my urologist prescribed for me. this is what a medical professional thinks is best.
the Urologist specifically told me that in his decades and decades of professional experience dealing with dude's penises, this is the medication that yields the best results with the fewest side-effects.
who the fuck is my Shite Obamacare Insurance to come between my doctor's professional experience and my treatment!?!
of course, my Urologist can be getting kick-backs from whatever pharmaceutical company makes Myrbetriq and the generics my Insurance company wants me to take could work just as well.
the whole system is rotten with corruption and you can't trust anybody.

i tried to talk to my Urologist's nurse about writing me a prescription for one of the generics my Insurance company wants me to take but she never got back to me.
eventually i went down to my Urologist's office to pick up a package with a month's worth of Myrbetriq free samples to play it that way.
i took a week's worth but then i had to stop because i was screening for a Drug Study over in Dallas and i wanted my blood chemistry to be pure.
in that week that i was on the Myrbetriq, i didn't see any results. i was pissing just as frequently as ever.
perhaps the Myrbetriq has to be in your system longer to be effective or perhaps my Shitte Obamacare Insurance is right and that the generics do work better?
it's a fight i'll have to have with one or both of them at a later date, once i'm all finished with this particular Drug Study.
it sucks though, to be caught in between both my Doctor and my Insurance Company trying to fuck me over and squeeze a few dollars out of my overactive bladder.

#2)
when i underwent my penis surgery i spent half a day at a hospital called the Medical City of Arlington.
several days before check-in the people at the Medical City of Arlington called to demand payment.
i told the lady on the phone that i didn't think i had to pay them anything, that i was at or close to meeting my $600 yearly deductable and that between the Urologist getting his nut and an unrelated dermatologist appointment that i had the day before, there wasn't going to be anything left for them.
at least, not from my end.
but the lady in the Medical City of Arlington's billing department told me to go ahead and fuck you, pay me anyway and if it turned out that i didn't have to, they would send me a refund.
they were demanding $590. i gave them $247.70, which was the balance i had on two gift-cards my Shite Obamacare Insurance gave me.

one of the good things i will say about my Shite Obamacare Insurance is that even though i have a $600 deductible which means i have to come out of pocket $600 before they even start to pay for shit, i have an opportunity to make up to $250 in rebates by doing bullshit 'fitness activities' and learning about healthy eating on the internet.
so, the PSE logged onto our Insurance Company's website and spent the better part of two hours clicking through slideshows and answering questions about healthy choices and six weeks later the Insurance Company sent us a pre-paid credit card for $250 that could be used to pay our medical expenses. fair enough.

i paid the Medical City of Arlington $247.70, which was the balance i had on my pre-paid card but then, when my Urologist came calling with his hand out several hours later, i had to pay him a few hundred dollars in cash out of my own pocket.
i couldn't owe both my Urologist and Medical City of Arlington because i had a $600 deductible cap so i figured one or the other would refund me my money.
and since Medical City of Arlington submitted their claim to my Insurance Company last, they were the ones who owed me a refund.
but, rather then sending me a check they just put the money back on the pre-paid credit cards.
i called up Medical City of Arlington's Billing Department no less then three times and specifically instructed them not to refund the money onto those pre-paid cards but they did it anyway because they don't give a shit.
the pre-paid credit cards can only be used on medical expenses. i can't use them to buy my groceries.
and since i already came out of pocket with my own fungible currency to pay the Urologist, i was now in the hole.
this whole penis surgery should have been financed largely by these pre-paid credit cards the PSE earned by doing nonsense on the internet but instead, i am several hundred dollars in the hole and now all i have for recompensation are disposable credit cards that only work at doctor's offices.
that's fucking bullcrap.

i won't have any more out-of-pocket medical expenses for the remainder of the year because i already hit my $600 deductible.
and it's almost guaranteed that my Shite Obamacare Insurance won't be around next year because they're a fly-by-night organization that nobody has ever heard of and also because Congress might just do away with Obamacare all together.
the PSE still has several hundred dollars left on her yearly deductible limit and we can use this money on the pre-paid credit cards for her, but that means that now the PSE has to get $247.70 worth of medical treatments before the end of the year and that's a lot of pressure because she's pretty much healthy.
but if we don't use our pre-paid credit card money and we don't max out our $600 per-person deductibles, the insurance company wins so the PSE is gonna have to find something to spend her money on. maybe i'll break her nose?

a bit of good news; when the Medical City of Arlington sent me their refund they also sent a billing statement.
they billed my Shite Obamacare Insurance $18,161.34 for the half day i was an inpatient and my Shite Obamacare Insurance paid them $6,467.90.
none of those numbers make any sense, i don't know why the fuck me laying in a hospital bed for four hours entitles the Medical City of Arlington to any more then half the going rate at the Holiday Inn, but i like to see that my Shite Obamacare Insurance is paying out way more for me then they're taking in.
it is important to not be the sucker in a relationship and way, way too often, medical insurance in America is for suckers.

//[ab irato ad astra]
.

July 2017

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