#1)
before we went off to New Jersey the PSE and i took the Monster to the Vet to talk to them about maybe getting the Monster some sedatives to take with us on the plane in case the Monster had an adverse reaction to flying.
we were hoping that she would be fine, Monster tends to be fine about most things as long as either the PSE or i are nearby, but flying is stressful, especially so when you don't have the slightest idea what the fuck is going on, so we wanted to have a back-up plan just in case.
so, one evening while the PSE and i were taking the Monster for a walk, we walked on over to the twenty-four hour Vet's office because they are only five blocks away and popped in to ask some questions.
we talked to a receptionist who talked to a Vet Tech who talked to a Vet who eventually decided that, if we needed to, we could give the Monster one of the many drugs we already had in stock that we tried giving her to control her separation anxiety.
none of them had the effect of getting the Monster to quit freaking the fuck out when we left her alone but, in double-dose, they should be good enough to get her dopey on the plane should she need it.
we didn't need to drug the Monster on the flight from Fort Worth to New Jersey, she sat in her travel crate under the seats in front of us like a champ, but on the return flight the PSE thought she got a little fussy so she shoved a few servings of Tramadol in a treat and fed it to her.
sure enough, the Monster's pupils dilated and she was wobbly for the remainder of the flight and several hours after we got home again.
i thought that was a bad idea on the PSE's part, i think the Monster should learn to cope with things on her own, not get high to solve them, but, the PSE didn't consult me.
or if she did, i wasn't really paying attention.

anyways...
while we were at the Vet's office, we got to talking to the Vet Tech and the Receptionist about the Monster and her separation anxiety.
“hows she doing?” they both asked with genuine concern.
i appreciated that.
as we were chit-chatting about Monster's problems and how the PSE and i have fixed them by just never leaving her side, some lady came in carrying a Yorkshire Terrier.
the PSE and i normally wouldn't pay Yorkshire Terriers much mind, Yorkies are everything wrong with small dogs, yappy and scatter-brained and greasy-looking, but the Monster is half Yorkie half Shih-Tzu and we have to respect her racial background.
like how White people who adopt little Black children have to learn how their hair works.
we started talking to the lady with the Yorkie, we wanted to ask her about Yorkie temperament and characteristics, we really know very little about the breed, but it turns out she just found the thing wandering around a few blocks away and she was just bringing it in to see if it had an identifying chip in its neck.
it did not.
the lady asked us if we wanted the little thing, she has three dogs at home and was not eager to find herself with the burden of dealing with this fella, but the PSE and i told her quite emphatically that we did not.
sorry, lady, your good deed of trying to help the little guy will not go unpunished.
this mess is on you alone.

#2)
11, December was the day before the PSE, the Monster and i were scheduled to leave for New Jersey.
it was also the day before my Torts final.
i was supposed to spend the day studying, torts torts torts torts torts, but it was also the first nice day that we'd had in a long time and i couldn't resist taking advantage of the opportunity to go outside.
it had been freezing cold for weeks, 50, 40, sometimes 30 degrees and you couldn't go outside without it hurting but now, all of a sudden it was comfortable out in a t-shirt so, i set my studying aside and the PSE, Monster and i went out for a big walk around the neighborhood.
there was a creepy trail several blocks from our apartment that we wanted to investigate.
we normally only ever take big walks around the neighborhood at night and the trail is completely unlit so we've never had the opportunity but since it was day light, we wanted to go exploring.
we went down the trail and found a little urban oasis of old garbage, discarded furniture and household appliances and shotgun shells.
not enough shotgun shells to say that this is a place where people go shooting, just enough to say that somebody had likely been murdered there.
we walked the trail for a while until it dead-ended into a puddle we couldn't surmount without getting our paws wet so we jumped over a barbed-wire fence and found ourselves on a street several blocks from where we started.
which is where we met a little dog, walking around without a person.
goddammit! i don't have time for this. i have studying to do.
'is this guy alright on his own?' we asked ourselves, 'can we just walk away from this?'
but the little fella came trotting right over to the PSE and me, so, no, i guess this is our problem after all.

the dog was small and white with thick, fluffy fur, one blue eye and one brown eye.
well, two brown eyes if you count the one 'round black.
when the PSE and i were looking for a dog friend six months previous we went to several shelters and looked at several unwanted dogs but didn't find a one that was as good looking as this one.
i hate to say it, but Monster is not the best looking dog.
she is sweet as pie, but she is not a looker like Dog used to be, or like this little lost puppy was, either.
this little fella was apparently friendly, too, and it just let the PSE scoop it right up.
we never did get a read on its sex.
the lost dog had no collar, just an old flea collar that had long expired, though its grooming looked like it had been kept up with.

with the lost dog in the PSE's arms and the Dog with me on a leash, we looked around at the neighborhood, trying to figure out what to do next.
we went over to the nearest house and knocked on the door to ask if the dog belonged to them.
we heard talking on the other side of the door but even after several knocks they did not answer.
finally an neighbor came out and we asked her if she had any idea whos dog we might have.
“i've never seen that thing before in my life,” she said, “and i know all the neighborhood dogs.”
motherfucker!
Plan B was to walk the ten or so blocks down to the Vet's office in the hope that the little lost dog had a chip in its neck that would tell us what to do with it.
the little dog chilled in the PSE's arms the entire walk.
when we got to the Vet's office they ran their scanners back and forth on the little fluffy orphan no less then a half-dozen times but nothing came up.
double motherfucker!!!
this was going to continue to be our problem for a while longer.

Plan C would be to bring the little lost doggie to the shelter.
the PSE and i didn't want to do that because that's sad.
also, it was Sunday and i don't know if they have anybody there on Sundays and we would have to slide the thing thing in through the night-drop off slot like an old VHS tape.
if the PSE and i weren't leaving for New Jersey the following day we could consider letting the lost dog crash with us for a while, but i don't know how Monster would have felt about that.
Monster hates dogs.

we walked the dogs back to our apartment complex and got in the TITSwagon.
before we drove over to the Humane Society we decided to drive back to the neighborhood where we found the little lost dog hoping to find a clue that would get it back to where it was supposed to be.
we creeped up the block finding a whole lot of nothing, growing more and more disappointed until finally, at the house where the PSE and i tried knocking we found a Homosexual crackhead and a woman that i can only assume was his prostitute friend, doing circles on their front lawn.
when we pulled up along side them they came over to the car, excited by the Monster in my lap and then disappointed.
“did you lose a dog?” i asked, and rolled down the back seat window to reveal the PSE sitting with her new friend.
[the PSE and i thought that was a better arrangement, because if we all sat up front, the dogs might fight.]
“oh thank heavens!” the Homosexual Crackhead breathed a sigh of relief.
his lady-prostitute friend smiled beneath layers and layers and layers of face paint.
“we found her running around in the street right in front of your house” i informed them, “we tried to knock but y'all didn't answer...”
when they ignored that, i made a point to say it again because, christ, druggies, answer your fucking door when people knock.
the Lady-Prostitute said that she told the Homosexual Crackhead to answer the door, that they saw the PSE's moccasins and that trouble doesn't wear moccasins, but they ultimately didn't because some people live such sketchy lives they have no idea what a knock on the door could bring.
so, because of these two fucking druggies, i had to waste an hour and twenty minutes out of my day doing a mitzvah when i should have been studying.
i'm glad we got the dog back to where she was supposed to be.
in spite of being crackheads, the couple seemed nice enough and the dog seemed to be cared for, when they know where it is.
the dog's name was Lilly.

#3)
because the Monster has been with us for six months now, the PSE and i had to run down to the Vet's office to pick her up another package of her anti-flea, anti-heartworm medication Trifexix.
Trifexis is a once-a-month pill sold in six-month supplies.
Trifexis is also stupid expensive with a list price of $120 for a six-month supply.
still, if $20 is what we have to pay to keep the Monster flea-free then that's what we will have to do.

while we were at the Vet i figured i would put the Monster on the dog-scale to see if she'd gained any weight.
when the Monster came into our lives six months previous she looked pretty severely underweight.
you could see her hip bones and her ribs.
of course, being abandoned by whatever counted for the Monster's family, having to spend a few days in a cage then going to be a part of a new family is a traumatic event that would cause anybody to lose weight, but the Monster isn't a food-oriented dog and, before she came to live with us, i don't think the Monster ever considered the idea that she could get in on any people food.
at her first check-up i mentioned to both the Veterinarian and his Tech that the PSE and i thought she was underweight. but they both said she looked fine.
at that check-up, the Monster weighed in at 8.15 pounds.
now, the Monster weighed 9.8.
that's a big difference for such a little girl.
the PSE and i think the Monster looks much healthier now but when the Vet Tech noticed the difference in weight she came around to feel the Monster's undercarriage and pronounced “she's fine now, but if she gains another ounce she'll be overweight.”
the PSE and i have a very different understanding of what healthy dog weight is then Veterinary professionals
the Monster almost certainly will gain some more weight living with us.
it is only in the past few months that the Monster has begun to come alive to begging for some of what we've got.
she's got a whole lifetime full of eating off my plate to look forward to.

//[onward ho!]
.

September 2017

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