xtitsx: (poodle)
( 7 Jan 2017 01:32 pm)
there was a time, many years ago, where people used to read my LiveJournal.
many years ago this here LiveJournal was a thriving community with upwards of maybe five different people checking in to read all about the TITS.
in the early days there would be comments and discussions, mostly about how awesome i am, sometimes about what a piece of shit i am, but always about me, me, me, me, me, which was fucking exhilarating.
most of those readers and commentators were ex-girlfriends, but, a few were not.
i have no idea who a few of those readers were, but i appreciated them none-the-less.
they gave me a target to aim my voice at.
anonymous companionship in the void.

now-a-days i'm just talking to myself.
which makes me sad, i must admit.
it makes me question what the fuck i am doing here, sometimes, whether i ought to just give up on the whole enterprise and start living life like a normal person.
having experiences and letting them go without the pathological need to catalog everything for an 'Official Record' that nobody gives a shit about.
it would be easier to give up on LiveJournal, certainly, i would be able to focus way more time on my studies at Law School, but i probably won't give up on this project.
giving up on LiveJournal would be like admitting to myself that i'm not important, and that's just not something i think i can live with.
i've got too much invested in this lie i tell myself.

even after the comments dried up in my first year of LiveJournaling, the way i knew that i was still getting a readership was via a 'counter manager' that would log the IP addresses of people who would come to my page.
scroll all the way down to the bottom of my LiveJournal, you see that little dragon snoring and breathing fire and counting things...
the counter manager wouldn't tell me who was visiting my LiveJournal, it wouldn't have a name attached, just a geolocation for a town or a city.
even then, i don't know how precise that geolocation was, but, seeing the same several cities checking in every day or two or three let me know that there were people out there.
before the PSE and i left on our Great Adventure i would get maybe one hit a day from some anonymous reader.
i didn't follow my geolocation while we were out on the road.
since we've been in Fort Worth, however, readership has dried up to almost nothing.
i am lucky to get one IP address hit a week.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, whoever the hell you are, godspeed to ya!

at some point last month, i checked in to see the IP addresses of who'd been visiting my LiveJournal and found that i was being followed by the Progressive Insurance Company.
this was the day after i wrote about how i'd gotten myself a settlement check five years after a hit-and-run driver totaled one of my cars back in Albuquerque.
i had to go back and re-read the entry carefully to make sure i didn't write about committing any kind of fraud.
fortunately it just so happened that that particular hustle was on the up-and-up.
still, i don't want goddamned Progressive reading my diary.
i assumed what happened is that Progressive Insurance Company has some kind of automated gizmo that trawls through the internet looking for references to itself and they came upon my entry.
two days after that, Texas A&M was reading my diary.
that was after i wrote about the kerfuffle they got into bring a White supremacist to come speak on campus.
that one was a little more concerning because i am a current student of Texas A&M.
with a modest bit of detective work, both Progressive Insurance and Texas A&M could read my diary and figure out who i am, connecting every shitty, criminal, racist, nasty thing i've ever said back to my legal name.
this is going to be a problem when i try to run for Congress.

let me remind the Progressive Insurance Company and Texas A&M and the NSA and whoever else that this here LiveJournal is entirely a work of fiction, the fictional diary of a fictional person that has absolutely nothing to do with the real-life person who exists in real life.
the story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. no identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
also, no animals were harmed in the making of this LiveJournal.
also also, mind your business, fags!

when i sign in to post the day's LiveJournal every day the LiveJournal homepage shows me a a series of “Top LJs” that are the top-ranked LiveJournals of the day.
apparently LiveJournal ranks LiveJournals for some reason.
i guess because sometime around the time FaceBook came out the people at LiveJournal realized that people enjoy ranking things.
like, subscribe, comment, upvote, retweet.
people love being acknowledged on the internet.
i mean, so do i, that's what this whole LiveJournal entry is about, but, you don't see me actually stooping so low as to actually play that game.
i am currently ranked #33,703.
i don't know how many LiveJournals still exist since the site stopped being cool sometime in 2004 but i can't imagine it's much more then 33,703.

several of the “Top LJs” advertise “friending meems” where LiveJournalers can get to know other LiveJournalers and make friends and join communities.
you know, you post your a/s/l and who your favorite Harry Potter character is and people can friend you.
i guess if i was the kind of person who wasn't above asking people to be my friend i would get into that circle jerk, i really really really want to make a connection with people, but i am too proud for that.
which is why i didn't have more then one friend in real life until junior year of high school.
friending meems on the internet are too similar to hiring a prostitute.
it lacks the sincerity to make the act meaningful.

as far as i can tell, LiveJournal consists of five kinds of Journals.
celebrity gossip, Russians, George R. R. Martin, uppity feminists and people who write Harry Potter slash fiction.
you would be surprised at how much graphic, filthy material has been written about Draco Malfoy casting engorgio spells on Harry Potter's tight little boy asshole.
and the lines between celebrity gossip, uppity feminists and Harry Potter perverts are pretty thin.
i've been on the LiveJournal since 2004, right about the time it stopped being cool.
the Russians came around 2008 when the San Francisco founder realized nobody gave a shit about LiveJournal anymore and sold it to the Ruskies.
the Russians, of course, are perennially about fifteen or twenty years behind the times so it was only natural that they would take to LiveJournal as the new big thing.
they only just recently stopped being fascinated by blue jeans.
anyways, the sale of LiveJournal to the Russians was a goddamned shame.
the Russians only just got Capitalism a few years back and they're making the worst of it.
despite swearing up and down for years that LiveJournal would never sell ads while they were under American management, once the Russians got their stinking mitts on it they immediate started trying to commercialize the thing.
they put ads on everybody's LiveJournal and said that if you wanted to remove them, you had to pay for a “premium” account.
that should have been the end of the line for me, i should have told the Russians zatknis suka! but instead i paid the bastards their $19.99 a year ransom to keep my LiveJournal ad-free.
i can't very well be seen to endorse whatever potato and tractor companies the Russians are trying to associate my work with.
and then i paid them $19.99 again, and again, and again and again for seven or eight or nine years now it seems.
i keep telling myself that some day i really ought to find a better repository for my writing but i never do.
ideally, one day i'd like to have a website of my own with all of my LiveJournaling in an archive but i don't have any idea how i would do that and besides, i think TITS.com is already taken.

last week when i logged into LiveJournal, several of the “Top LJs” were abuzz about LiveJournal moving its servers to Russia.
apparently, even though management had been based out of Russia since 2008, the servers remained Stateside until right after Christmas when they moved over to Moscow.
this is a problem because obviously, Russia doesn't give a nyet about Western fluff like freedoms of speech.
the hundreds of thousands of Russian LiveJournalers who use LiveJournal for whatever the hell Russians have to say on the internet now find themselves within Putin's villainous grasp for censorship and political repression.
this is less of a problem for me because i don't regularly write about The Routine Violations Of Human Rights That Go On In Russia Every Fucking Day, but still, there is a paranoid little part of me that worries that one day i could wake up and all of my LiveJournals will have disappeared.
thrown into some godforsaken Siberian gulag for words on the internet.
several of the “Top LJs” all talked about emigrating over to DreamWidth, which is a thing just like LiveJournal, apparently, only somehow even less popular.
which makes me wonder how many other goddamned social networking sites there are out there that nobody cares about.
the thing about DreamWidth is that they have a button that can automatically copy over all of your previous years worth of LiveJournals, making a migration very simple.
aso, DreamWidth is a company based right here in the good ol' U.S. of A. which means we have 4th Amendment protections and a Constitution guarantees of privacy.
no, ha ha, i'm kidding!
i am not the kind of person who tolerates change very easily and i won't be switching over to DreamWidth right away, but i went ahead and set myself up an account and transferred my entries over, as a back-up plan, just to be safe.
so, if one day, dear Internet Friend[s], should Putin ever come for me, let's make a plan to regroup at xTITSx.dreamwidth.org
until then, stay safe out there, comrades!

//[onward ho!]

September 2017

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