after keeping us waiting for just under four weeks, our Law School grades finally posted.
you would think we would get an e-mail or something but, no, they were just there on the Law School's website under the 'my grades' tab, waiting for me to click on 'um like it didn't even matter.
i had been checking the 'my grades' tab once or twice a week since i took my finals back in the beginning of December, but i guess it takes a while for the Professors to decide who lives and who dies.
my grades are as follows:
Torts: C+
Criminal Law: B
Legal Writing: B-
Professional Identity: S, which i assume is a pass?
that leaves me with a GPA of 2.67.
to maintain my full-tuition scholarship, i had to earn a 2.33 GPA or better.
looks like i live to fight another day.

i have never been so happy to get a C+ in my life.
and i was downright satisfied by that B.
the way Law School works, grades are curved, with the center of the curve pegged to the B.
i am right in the middle of the pack in Criminal Law and within the standard deviation for Legal Writing and Torts.
i thought Criminal Law was going to be my weakest subject considering we didn't have any other exams except the final and the Professor was a notoriously bad teacher.
i didn't have any idea what the fuck the difference was between the Model Penal Code and the Common Law, the Majority Rule and the Minority Rule, but, when it came time to sit the exam, shit made sense.
i thought Torts was going to be my stronger subject but the Professor kept hitting me for not writing my essays in CREAC -conclusion, rule, explanation, analysis, conclusion- format.
also, i guess i just didn't know my stuff.
but i got a good enough grade to pass, so, good for me.
i'd be lying if i said i wasn't embarrassed and ashamed of myself for getting a C+, for having a G.P.A. in the 2s, but, whatever, fuck you, i'm going to Law School on a full-tuition scholarship.
i'm smart enough.

now that i know i'm not going to fail out of Law School, at least for this semester, it is time to gaze towards the future.
not quite 'hopefully,' more so heavy with burden, but it's future-gazing none-the-less and i guess that is better then sitting in the stink of my own failure.

i am taking four classes next semester, Property, Contracts, Legal Writing II and Professional Identity II.
it took the school a good long while to put together a book list, i was pestering the bookstore for the better part of three weeks before they finally released one.
then i went on the Amazon Dot Com to buy my books from there, because it's cheaper.
really, i went on Smile.Amazon.Com, which is a branch of Amazon Dot Com which gives a tiny percentage of every purchase to charity.
in my case, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
over the past several years that i've been shopping on Smile.Amazon.Com, i have raised close to $3 for the ASPCA.
you would think Jeff Beazos could afford to kick up a little more then 0.5 percent of every order, he's worth 66 and a half Billion dollars for fuck's sake, but, sure, $3 for the ASPCA. nice.

the asshole who teaches Professional Identity II had us buy a bunch of books for Professional Identity I that i guess we are going to continue to use.
for Professional Identity II we only had to buy two additional books, Present With Power, Punch and Pizzazz!: The Ultimate Guide To Delivering Presentations with Power, Poise, Persuasion, and Professionalism and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
i got them both off of Smile.Amazon.Com for $21.50, including shipping.
i will be very surprised if i read either of them. it's only a pass-fail class.

Legal Writing II will also continue to use many of the books i had to buy for Legal Writing I.
i only had to buy one additional book, the latest edition of The Greenbook: Texas Rules of Form which is the legal writing style manual for the Great State of Texas.
because apparently the nationally used Blue Book just isn't good enough for the Texas legal community on account of it being drawn up and published by those yankee faggots up at Harvard.
that cost me $21.94
also, it turned out that two of the Legal Writing books that i had to get for Legal Writing I and that we will continue to use in Legal Writing II i had only rented, not bought outright, which meant that if i wanted to keep them for a second semester i would need to extend my rental.
that cost me $24.35 and $21.21 for the two books, which, combined with what i paid for First Semester, was still cheaper then buying them outright, though, not by much.

for Contracts i needed a casebook, Contract Law: Selected Sources and Materials, Annotated.
that sold for $46.00.
there would also be another book for contracts but the Professor said he would provide that to us for free on the internet.
i think he is the author or co-author, so he can do that.
i don't know how i feel about reading on the internet, i prefer to have a physical copy of something in my hand, but to buy a physical copy would cost money and i don't care about the tactile experience of reading that much.

for Property the only thing on the book list was a memoir called Coming Out Of The Woods which is a book some hippie wrote back in the 1970s about the years he spent living a Thoreau lifestyle in a cabin he built for himself in rural Georgia, or somewhere.
which is fine, that seems like a interesting read, but the other two sections of Property were using a proper casebook full of proper cases of property law that sells for over $220.
our Professor is the Dean of the Law School, though, so if he wants to spend class time rapping about some hippie who lived in the woods for a while then who am i to argue?
i bought Coming Out Of The Woods for $1.75 plus $4.99 shipping.
just this week, however, the Dean sent out another e-mail that said we would need two more things for class.
the first was The Mystery of Capitalism: Why Capitalism Works in the West and Fails Everywhere Else, which is a book by some Peruvian economist.
i was able to get that on Smile.Amazon.Com for $0.01 plus $3.99 shipping.
i don't understand why anybody is selling a book for a penny, what do they have to gain? but i guess that's one of the mysteries of Capitalism that the book will hopefully illuminate.
the last thing i had to buy for Property, i was disappointed to find out, was a subscription to some website called Case File Method that has different prepared hypothetical legal cases, fake clients with fake problems, fake depositions, fake precedents, that we can use to play lawyer with.
access to the website cost $54.99 which is still cheaper then a proper case book, but now i've got to print out hundreds of pages of this shit from my computer, which is gonna kick my ass in toner.

as for buy-backs i was shit out of luck with the book store.
my Criminal Law casebook was a rental so i had to mail that back to Amazon Dot Com for nothing.
my Torts casebook and a supplemental book for Criminal Law were all mine to try to resell but the Law School bookstore said they weren't buying them back this semester.
Torts and Criminal Law are first-semester classes, they wouldn't be running in the Spring, and they didn't want to buy the books back now just to keep them in a closet.
i could try my luck over the Summer, maybe they might want to buy those two books back then, but for now, i would just have to hang on to them, taking up space in my office.

late last Monday evening i got a bulk e-mail from my Contracts Professor.
he said hello, introduced himself, then reminded the class that we had homework due on the first day of class.
what the fuck is that shit!?!
having homework due on the first day of school is a dicked-up part of Law School.
here i am, trying to enjoy the few weeks of peace that i get and now the stress and agida of Law School have to come intruding itself, making demands.
last Tuesday evening my Legal Writing II Professor sent a “friendly reminder”about the reading assignments he has in his syllabus.
our Property Professor waited until Thursday before he started dumping his homework assignments in my lap.
my Professional Identity II Professor sent out an e-mail full of reading assignments all the way back before Christmas, the motherfucker.
on Wednesday afternoon of last week my holiday from Law School officially drew to a close.
time to get in my office and get to work on this bullcrap.
i spent four days, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, one on each subject, three, four hours each day.
goddamn, already.

my Contracts Professor wanted me to read Unit One: Thinking Like A Transaction Lawyer of his free Contracts casebook on the internet, which was ten pages of a surrogate parenting contract, and then to answer fifteen questions about what was wrong with it.
then, because we have class two days a week, i figured i should do the homework that would be due for the second class so i read Unit Two: Thinking Like A Contract Litigator, which was another twenty pages about surrogacy parenting contracts, with an additional five problems at the back that we had to work out.

my Legal Writing II Professor wanted me to read three chapters in a book called Researching The Law about how WestLaw and Lexus Nexus work, thirty-five pages in total.
then i had to read another five page article that some guy wrote about how lawyers really ought to consider footnoting their citations instead of littering them right their in their briefs.
legal writing is rotten with strings of nonsensical letters and numbers cluttering up the prose but apparently this right-thinking guy is in the minority on this [apparently controversial] subject and he got into debates with Richard Posner and Antonin Scalia about it all the time.
i'm with you, fella! legal writing, like all writing, really ought to aspire to be readable.

for Property i had to read a twenty-six page article about the institution of private property and why it was necessary.
because if we don't come along and gobble up common areas, other people will, was what it boiled down to.
then i had to download a Case File from the website about some fictional people who found a dead neighbor boy floating in their pool.
it was about the Attractive Nuisance Doctrine, which was something we learned in Torts, though, i guess when you own property, you are open to a lot of different tort liabilities.
i wasn't sure what the fuck i was supposed to do with the Case File, the Professor didn't say in his e-mail, so i just read over all the materials.

for Professional Identity we had two things to do.
the first was to decided on three competencies that i want to work on over the course of the semester to be more professional.
i wrote down “for fuck's sake, look at me!” and figured that was good for three.
then the Professor wanted us to read three-quarters of Present With Power, Punch and Pizzazz!, 164 pages in total.
i drew myself a bath Saturday afternoon and knocked that out.
mostly it was just lists of behaviors, postures and words that good presenters use and bad presenter don't, and i could just skim through it and call myself prepared.

now i am ready for Law School to start.
i guess.

//[onward ho!]

September 2017

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