the PSE has decided not to return to Community College this semester.
the PSE was on the fence about it, waffling between knowing that she should do it because education is important or whatever, and preferring to concentrate on other pursuits, like staying up all night fucking around on the internet and passing wind into the couch cushions.
the PSE didn't go to Community College last semester because we had just moved to Fort Worth and i was just getting started in Law School and i needed the PSE to help out as we got our footings, but now the PSE doesn't have any excuse except that the PSE just does not want to go back to Community College.
the PSE knows that she should go to Community College, she knows she is letting down her Grandma, who wants to see the only not-really-a-fuck-up in the family get an education and, also she is letting down my Aunt Joan, somehow, who, when i talked to her on the phone when we were back in New Jersey last month pressed me to press the PSE on the subject.
“she's such a smart girl..., she really ought to do something with her life...”
sure, Aunt Joan, i don't disagree.
i'm of the opinion that undergraduate education doesn't really have much practical value unless you're in the STEM field, and the PSE is not interested in the hard work required for the STEM field, but i still think that going to college is a good way to broaden a person's horizons.
and, if it's free, PSE, why the fuck not?
the PSE's been listening to me give lukewarm encouragement for going back to school but the PSE worries that if she does, we won't have any money coming in and we'll starve to death.
i tell her we've got plenty of savings to see us both through our respective educations for at least the next three years, but the PSE doesn't want to piss our money away like that.
instead, the PSE would rather get back into the Lab Rat Game.

every morning when the PSE wakes up [or late afternoon, or whenever the PSE's ridiculous sleeping schedule sees fit to wake her] she will check the websites of both the Dallas and Austin Drug Studies.
there hasn't been much to choose from lately because of the holidays.
also, the PSE and i went to New Jersey for a week and that played hell with her options.
a few weeks before Christmas the PSE found several high-dollar studies that she would have liked to try out for but they all had screening dates right when we would be in New Jersey.
then it was Christmas and New Years and the whole Lab Rat Game shuts down for a while.
not that people who see their bodies to science would be opposed to doing it over Christmas, or even because the kind of not-too-far-removed-from-having-to-sell-their-bodies-to-science phelobotomists who work the place have any objection to working over Christmas for their $8.25 an hour, but because of the doctors and the pharmaceutical reps who have to come in to watch us take our doses have families and a respectable lack of desperation.
also, the PSE is handicapped by being both a female and not surgically sterile.
a lot of Studies don't like to experiment on females, especially ones capable of having babies because the kind of deformities that can result from a malformed baby would open a pharmaceutical company up to a whole different level of liabilities they would rather be willfully ignorant of.
in the end, after weeks of checking the Drug Study rosters, the best Study that the PSE could try out for was a $3,300 in Dallas.
it wasn't the big money she was hoping for, but, it would have to do.

the Study in Dallas had a lower weight restriction of 132 pounds.
lab rats must be at least that fat to get experimented on.
which is weird because the Study was accepting both males and females but there was no weight differential for the genders, just 132 for all participants.
this wouldn't have been a problem for the PSE six, eight, ten months ago.
back when we were on our Great Adventure the PSE actually gained weight from all the walking around the world that we did and was up near 140 pounds, or whatever the fuck that is in kilos.
but since we've been back in the States living slothful, sedentary lifestyles, the PSE has lost weight, somehow.
i get fat when i sit around the house not doing anything but the PSE gets skinnier, the lucky cunt.
the PSE was down to 129 which meant that if she wanted to get this Study in Dallas she would have to bulk up.
so, we spent the ten days between when she called about the Study until their first available screening appointment fattening the PSE up on different kinds of cookies.
we probably would have made different kinds of cookies to fatten up on regardless, but it was nice to have an excuse.

two Mondays ago the PSE drove across the Tom Landry Freeway a half hour into Dallas for her 12:30pm screening.
like all Drug Study Screenings the PSE was on an 8 or 10 hour fast, but she could drink all the water she wanted.
the PSE spent the morning drinking glass after glass after glass of water to put on water weight.
the PSE arrived at the Dallas Drug Study squirming with pee.
she first to the toilet then reported to the front desk only to learn that hsr appointment was for Wednesday, not Monday.
the PSE came back to the house and spent the rest of the afternoon peeing.
on Wednesday, she had to do it all over again.

on Wednesday, 12:30pm, the PSE, her belly bloated with water again, reported back to Dallas for her screening.
when they brought everybody back into the lab for weigh-in the PSE made weight, 133 pounds, but it turned out the PSE had incorrect information once again and the minimum weight requirement was only 130.
the PSE needs to learn to pay closer attention to detail.
still, better safe and fat that skinny and out of luck.
unfortunately, the Dallas Drug Study was only looking for eight Lab Rats and would only be dosing four.
the other four would only be back-ups and would only be paid $75 for their troubles.
there were maybe six people in the PSE's screening group and it was not the first one to come try out for this Study.
several of the people in the screening group had come from San Antonio, one all the way from El Paso, all by bus.
they were understandably pissed.

the PSE went through the process of screening for the Dallas Drug Study.
she signed the Informed Consent and learned that the Study would require eight-days in-house stay and two follow-up outpatient visits a few days after she gets out.
check-in would be the last week of January, check-out the first week of February, for a payment of $3,300.
they would be testing a drug to combat Denge Fever.
the PSE had a physical, gave blood and urine samples, vital statistics and an EKG.
the PSE is not optimistic that she will make the study, however.
i tried to tell the PSE it's hard out there in the Lab Rat Game.
this shit is feast and famine, though, unless you're incredibly lucky and a real fucking hustler, more often famine.

after her screening for the Dallas Drug Study that likely won't pan out the PSE woke up early the following Friday morning because the new Studies hit the website for the Austin Drug Study on Fridays.
the PSE found a new Study posted for $7,500.
this would involve a consecutive twenty-five day stay in-house down in Austin, with no out-patient visits.
twenty-five days is a long time for the PSE to be away from the Monster and me and my preference would be for her to find some other way to make money, but, if that's what the PSE wants to do i'm not going to veto.
the PSE called the Study and booked the first available screening appointment the following Monday morning 7:30am, down in Austin, of course.
Austin is three and a half hours away.
this gave the PSE two choices to either A) leave the house at 4:00am Monday morning or to drive down Sunday night and sleep in her car.
the PSE opted for the latter option.
the PSE left the house at 9:30pm Sunday night in a storm of wind and rain that we later found out was a tornado.
the PSE said it was some of the hardest driving she's ever had to do.
at one point her windshield wiper flew off but fortunately, for reasons i don't understand, she had a spare in the back of her car and was able to secure it.
the PSE made it to the Austin Drug Study around 12:30am and curled up in a nest she made the back of her Wagon.
she slept pretty good, all things considered.

the PSE woke up at 6:30am having to take a shit.
fortunately the Austin Drug Study was open for business by then so he went in to do her business then sign in for her screening.
at 7:30am they called people back, just the PSE and two other women.
these were Professional Lab Rats, both from out of state who had come down for the big money study.
but the good news is that this $7,500 job was a females-only study and, in general, there are much fewer female Lab Rats in the game for the PSE to compete with.
besides, this was the very first screening opportunity and the PSE was the first name on the list.
at the Informed Consent the PSE and the two other lady-Lab Rats learned that the drug they were signing up to test was some kind of treatment for leukemia.
check-in would be 26, January and check-out 20, February.
the PSE signed away all her legal rights then went back to the lab to give blood and urine and vital statistics and an EKG.
she was free to go around 9:30am.
i told the PSE to stop at the Italian Market we liked to eat at back when we lived in Austin to pick me up some of their good-ass bruschetta but it turned out they didn't open until 11:00am and the PSE wasn't going to wait around.
the PSE made it back up to Fort Worth a little after noon, safe and sound.

this past Tuesday the Dallas Drug Study called to say that there was something wrong with the PSE's blood.
it wasn't clotting right or some shit.
this could be a problem with their lab equipment, or it could be a problem with the PSE.
they invited her to drive a half hour over to Dallas to give another sample which she did, but still, this does not bode well for the PSE's chances of getting the $3,300 Dallas Drug Study job.
the PSE is hoping to get the $7,500 Austin Drug Study job, but we won't hear back from them for another week or so.
wish the PSE luck, for whatever that's worth.

//[onward ho!]
.

July 2017

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