the alarm went off at 7:21am Friday morning.
it was still gray outside, the sun still hadn't woken up fully yet.
i sat in bed with my mouth open for a while, hating life, before it was time to get out of bed and take the Monster for a pee.
she saw a cat under a car that she wanted to chase because the Monster is an ass, but we don't really let her off the leash anymore so she just jerked around a bunch.
back at the house i ate a Nature Valley bar full of grains and whatever then went to have a poop and brush my teeth.
i got dressed a few minutes after 8:00am and was out the door a few minutes thereafter.
the PSE was waking up while i was buzzing around the apartment, but i suspect she went back to sleep after i left.

i got to class at 8:25am, had myself a pee and filled up my Texas A&M branded thermos full of ice water then went to take my regular spot in Property class.
i forgot to drop off a notecard up to the Dean at the front of the room indicating that i was ready, willing and able to be called on, but i remembered after a few minutes and ran it up to the front of the room, barefoot.
the Dean gave me a look, but it was more quixotic then judgmental, i think.
we spent the first half of class talking about a hypothetical Case File where a horse got dropped off at a horse stable but nobody wanted to claim responsibility for it because of a contract dispute between two other parties, both though the other was the true owner of the thing.
but, while both parties assumed the horse was lame, it turned out that it was a healthy thoroughbred and another party wanted to buy it for $25,000.
the question being, can the owner of the stable rightfully sell the horse?
we looked at three precedent cases that kinda-sorta dealt with the law of found property.
the case came down to whether the animal could be considered lost, mislaid, abandoned or a treasure trove, with each category determined by where the property is found and the intention of the person who might have lost it.
if property is mislaid, it goes to the owner of the property to be held in case the true owner turns up.
if property is lost, it goes to the person who finds it.
if property is a 'treasure trove' then it goes to the owner of the property.
if property is abandoned, you have to look at why it was abandoned but, mostly, it goes to whoever finds it.
it turned out that, in our for-pretend case the horse could properly be sold by the guy who owns the stables.
then we took a five minute break.
some Professors give a ten minute break but the Dean seems to only take fivers, which sucks.

for the second half of the class we talked about another make-pretend class about some hunting ranch up in Montana or somewhere that makes all its money from taking hunters on elk-murdering tours on their property, but lately their neighbor has been putting out salt blocks to attract the elk to their own land [because elk fucking love salt, i guess] and running elk-hunts on their own land instead.
the question was what can our client do about that and the answer is 'not a lot.'
we looked at precedent case law, two cases dealing with people trying to catch wild animals and one dealing with guys trying to suck up oil from under the land.
turns out, the law favors whoever gets their hands on stuff in the wild first.
the Dean ended up pulling my card from the stack of “ready, willing and able” to answer some questions about one of the cases.
i didn't really have a good answer for him and i ended up looking slightly stupid, but not all that much more then usual.

class got out at 10:20am.
as we were all making our way out the door, the Frat Boy went and got himself a life-size cut-out of Donald Trump and started parading it around.
Friday was Inauguration Day and in just a half hour, America would make a great big mistake it was obligated to make.
several of my classmates were live-streaming the Inauguration and the Frat Boy said he'd been walking around with a boner all day.
i like him.

at 10:30am i had an appointment with my Career Services Counselor.
this wasn't a meeting i was particularly interested in, it was a requirement for our Professional Identity II class.
our assignment for Professional Identity II was to meet with our Careere Services Counselor to go over three “core competencies” that we need to develop.
we have a book that lists a bunch of “core compatibles” that law firms are looking in new-hires.
i haven't read the book because i don't have the time and because this shit is fucking stupid, but i made up three things that i thought i should be working on and wrote them down.
#1) communication – be less awkward when i'm talking to bosses/people i want something from
#2) networking – be less standoffish, quit making people uncomfortable by not socializing
#3) professionalism – quit presenting myself as a slob/criminal/hobo and learn to carry myself like a fucking normal adult.
this might involve not slipping in expletives into every third sentence.
the Career Services Counselor asked me what my plan was to improve on those skills and i told her “i dunno, just, do them less...” because, really, who cares?
the lady told me to work on developing a relationship with my Professors might help me talking to authority figures.
she also said they were going to be scheduling mock job interviews which, honestly, is probably something i should avail myself of -the last time i had a job interview several years ago i just shat in my pants and grinned at the interview committee for ten minutes before they asked me to leave- but i'm probably not going to do that because i have other shit to do.
finally the Career Services Counselor told me to get involved, join a study group, learn how to talk to my classmates.
i don't want to do that. thank you for your time, lady.

after talking about all the stuff that Professional Identity II required me to talk about, i moved on to talk for a few minutes about the Summer.
since the second day of orientation Law School has been pushing us to take Summer internships clerking for local Judges and working in law firms.
already!?! it's too soon!!! i thought i would have at least another three, four years of fuck-around time before i had to trouble myself with this kind of shit.
if i wanted to spend my time working, i wouldn't be in Law School, certainly.
i don't want to go to work. not yet, anyway, and probably not ever, but apparently it is customary for Law Students to take internships the Summer after their first year.
i only go to Law School part-time, however, and i would rather spend my Summer catching up on all the classes i missed out on during the regular school year.
shouldn't i be doing that?
i asked the Career Services Counselor and she kinda frowned on that idea because her job is to make me employable but she said that i can do whatever i want to that's what i am going to do.
i was done with my meeting by 11:00am.

at 11:30am the entire First Year class had a Mandatory Meeting scheduled in the Conference Hall to learn how Lexus Nexus and WestLaw work.
we had this meeting last semester, not to mention that pretty much every Legal Writing II class we've had this second semester has been about how to work Lexus Nexus and WestLaw.
i would be super pissed about the waste of time but, i had to be on campus anyway between Property and the Professional Identity II class coming up at 1:00, plus, there was free pizza.
i went to the Conference Hall and wrote a little LiveJournal on my laptop for a half hour as i waited for showtime to start.
at 11:30 they came around with sign-in sheets and our pizzas. i took two slices of Papa John's sausage.
the lady from Lexus Nexus talked at us for forty-five minutes then the guy from WestLaw did the exact same thing.
the ironic thing is that even after all this bullshit, i still don't have the slightest idea how Lexus Nexus and WestLaw work.
i spent the entire seminar eating my pizza, doodeling my name and visage on a post-it note and screaming “I'M SO BORED!!!!!!!” in my head.

our Lexus Nexus/WestLaw tutorial came to a slow grind at 12:50.
i got up and ran over to the pizza table to steal myself two more slices of Papa John's Sausage then took them to Professional Identity II class at 1:00pm.
Professional Identity II, like Professional Identity I, is a 0.5 credit class that meets for an hour six times throughout the semester.
yet, for reasons i find incredibly frustrating the Professor expects us to take it seriously and he's alays sending us bullshit e-mails and assignments about shit that doesn't matter.
Friday's class was in our small-group sessions, as opposed to us all meeting as an entire group of First Years, like we do sometimes.
my small-group group was the same kids i was sorted in Professional Identity I with, twelve of us in total.
there use to be thirteen of us last semester but a great big fat girl who was a huge, awkward weirdo dropped out or got kicked out or got hit by a train or something.
i talked to a girl who i only get to see in Professional Identity because she is in another section for a while.
she is a stand-up comedian. like, she'll do it at open-mic nights.
she says she would bet me money that she can make me laugh in five minutes.
i'm a comedy snob, but she might could. who knows?

on our small Professional Identity groups we spent the hour of class giving impromptu ninety-second talks to the class.
they told us we would be giving talks, but they wouldn't give us topics. they would give us something to talk about as we walked to the front of the room.
this was to develop our improv skills.
the first guy called did really well.
he was wearing a suit and he stood at the front of the room and told us about how both of his parents are lawyers and how he'd been doing debate team and moot court since grade school and how he has all kinds of public speaking experience.
and yeah, sure enough, the kid was pretty good.
i was the second name called.
i walked to the front of the room and was told that my topic was “courtrooms” or “courtroom speech” or something i can't remember.
something really bizarre.
but, whatever, i can bullshit, so i stood at the front of the room and talked about how it was awkward to give a speech in front of a courtroom but, that with practice we would get better.
then i dded eighty-seven more seconds of filler then took a bow.
the feedback i got from some practicing lawyer who was in the room to evaluate us said that he appreciated my “genuineness.”
that is his nice way of saying that there was no lipstick on this pig.
my peers who were supposed to be evaluating me wrote “good job!” on their worksheets.
thanks, guys.
the rest of my classmates ranged from pretty good to average like me.
only one person was painfully awkward to watch. i had to stop myself from laugh out loud as he spazzed and flailed in front of the room.

class let out ten minutes early at 1:50pm.
i went home and sat on the couch stupid for a while but i couldn't rest too long.
there were heaps and heaps of homework to do.

//[onward ho!]

September 2017

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