two Fridays ago i got an e-mail from the secretary to the Associate Dean that read “see attached.”
attached was a PDF of a letter signed by the Associate Dean for Student Conduct summoning me to a student conduct hearing in a week following.
“you may have violated University rules on or about November 13th as a result of (1) your bringing a dog into the library in violation of published library use policies and your failure immediately to remove this dog when asked to do so by security and (2) your failure to disclose your name and/or present proper ID when requested by Law School security.”
well what the fuck!?! what the fucking shit is this!?!
i spent the next seven days sputtering with indignation at what was happening to me.

on or about November 13th i did bring my dog [my Monster] to the Law School library because i had to go submit a big paper and for technical reasons, i wanted to run it though Microsoft Word because our Professor is a format Nazi.
the PSE was at work at the Ramen Restaurant that night because this was that fucking long ago and the Monster couldn't be left home alone for a half hour because she was crazy.
she's much better now, but this was then.
so i took the Monster with me to Law School run in and transact my business in the computer lab in the campus library.
within a few minutes of my arrival, however, a security guard came along and told me there were no animals allowed in school.
i told him i would be ten minutes. he insisted i leave then, but i insisted i would leave when i was goddamned good and ready.
we got into it for a while but he eventually backed off because i guess he wasn't willing to wrestle me out of the building.
i did my thing and the Monster and i were on our way.
the whole business was so tense upsetting to me that i thought about writing a nasty letter to the campus Facilities Coordinator who is in charge of school security, but i didn't.
because i am a good-natured and forgiving guy, after all.

a few days later, i got called into the office of the Associate Dean of Student Services.
apparently the kerfuffle i got into was more serious then i thought.
these people at the Law School aren't messing around.
the Associate Dean of Student Services asked me if Monster was a service animal, because i told the security guard she was to get him to get off my dick.
i told the Associate Dean that no, she wasn't, and she told me well, then, i wasn't allowed to have the Monster on campus.
i got all flustered and ended up sputtering about how unfair all this was, how i couldn't believe we were in a situation this serious and that goddamned security guard should have just minded their own business.
some people just shouldn't take rules so seriously, y'know!
i ended up walking out of the room shaking my head saying “this sucks, this just really sucks!!!” over and over again.
because what the fuck, guys! this sucks! why you gotta pick on me like this!?!
but now three months later i got this letter in the mail and apparently now this is a thing way more serious the
now it's time to get in the game.

among the consequences listed for a Student Conduct Conference are expulsion from the Law School, suspension, and different levels of letters of reprimand which could affect my scholarship and/or would have to be reported to the Texas State Licensure Board if and when i ever sit for the bar.
this was serious business.
fortunately, i've been getting fucked with by authority figures since i was a small child and i know how to deal with situations like this.
i was spoiling for a fight.
i spent the following week in a livid, indignant state, sketching out my own defense on several sheets of yellow legal notepad instead of working on the Big Memo that i had due for Legal Writing that i really should have been focusing on.
the PSE saw my hackles up an advised caution.
“do you maybe want to dress up nice for your conference?” she tried to nudge,“do you maybe want to be a little more humble?”
i think the PSE has a lot more riding on me graduating Law School then she lets on.
there is a part of her that thinks one day i am going to be rich and successful and will take care of her, i think.
it's like the PSE doesn't know me at all.
but of course, long time TITS-watchers should know, my answer was “fuck the motherfuckers.”
spit in their eyes, the cunts!
what's the worst that could happen, they kick me out of Law School and i get to buy myself a motorcycle and drive around all day a free man!?! big fucking deal!?!
don't get me wrong, i would have preferred to get to stay in Law School, but i'll be goddamned if i'm gonna sacrifice my pride to stay there.
i am in the right here, the school is in the wrong. if they want to make a stink about this, then come on then, let's get ornery.

on Thursday of this week i reported for a pre-hearing conference with the Secretary to the Associate Dean.
she had me initial some routine paperwork that said i had been informed of my rights and procedures, but even that i gave her a hard time about.
never concede a thing.
i had a chance to review, but not to receive a copy of, the Campus Security Officer's incident report.
it started off “i'm working the desk and i got a call that a student who looked weird and had a weird hair doo with tattoos and piercings and painted fingernails and toe nails snuck in a little dog...” and went from there.
it ended with “the person eventually walked out saying i was being rude to him, he said i was being disrespectful...”
well, motherfucker, when you're writing in your report that i'm a weirdo, you don't have to read too much between the lines to figure that you probably are being disrespectful.
i smiled to myself right there in the Secretary's office.
i just won my case.
i spent the next twenty-four hours before my actual Student Conduct Conference wishing they would give me some kind of sanction.
i'll slap this State institution with a $100,000 discrimination lawsuit.

more tomorrow...

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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