a year or so ago, when i got the ball rolling on this Law School adventure that i'm on, the question about what to do about my Summers was a significant variable.
Law School traditionally takes three years, but since i wanted to go part-time, it would take me four.
unless i could take additional classes over the Summer to catch up, which i intended to do.
some of the Law Schools i applied to made Summer classes mandatory for part-time students but Texas A&M did not.
in fact, my full-tuition scholarship offer that they sent made it expressly clear “Tuition Waiver Is For Fall And Spring Terms Only! No Summer Classes, Dipshits!!!”
only one school that i got accepted to offered me a full-tuition scholarship all year 'round, the Charleston School of Law, but it was significantly lower-ranked then the Texas A&M School of Law, and the PSE really pushed for me to sign up with A&M on account of its proximity to two major Drug Studies.
so, i went with Texas A&M and i figured i would worry about what to do about Summer classes and how to pay for them when the time came.
well, the time has come and it seems that i'm shit out of luck.

a few weeks ago i went and made an appointment with the Associate Dean of Admissions to talk about possibly-maybe adjusting my scholarship award, or even just tweaking the rules of how scholarships can be used.
the way my scholarship is written, it's not a numerical amount like $22,000 per year but a percentage.
i have a 100% tuition waiver, and that would apply whether i was in the part-time or full-time program.
if i was to take classes over the Summer, that would bump my credit hours up to Full-Time, and would still be covered by my tuition-waiver, but the school doesn't do it like that, for reasons i don't understand.
i was hoping that maybe if i asked nicely i might be able to get the Associate Dean of Admissions to change his mind on that, to make an exception just for me, but, when i told his secretary what the nature of my meeting i requested was she snickered out loud, “yeah, right, good luck with that, dipshit!”
several minutes later, i got the same message from the Associate Dean himself.
the towering hulk of a Black man said that, no, tuition waivers are only good for Fall and Spring semesters.
i asked him if he knew of any other ways that i could pay for Summer classes, i really wanted to catch up with me peers and graduate on time and he told me “yeah, i dunno...” then lumbered back to his office.
later, his secretary forwarded me some e-mails about different third-party external scholarships she was aware of, but, i don't want to invest i-don't-know-how-many hours writing essays and personal statements just for an outside chance to get $500 from the Association Of Native American Trial Lawyers or the Gay Students League.

several days later, i went to Student Business Services to get a quote about how much it might cost me to pay for Summer term out of pocket.
the whole point of me going to Law School was to do it for free, if i'm paying out of pocket i'm just as bad as the hundreds of other thousands of suckers who have fallen into the Law School trap over the past decade, but, if i could shave a year off of the endeavor by putting up a little cash, maybe it might be worth it.
Student Business Services told me, ballpark, it would be around $1,400 per credit hour to take a class over the Summer.
a three-credit course being $4,200, a four-credit course being $5,600.
that was a lot more then i was expecting.
i spent a week or so fretting about how i would gather that money, do i really want to dip into my savings to pay for Summer school or do i just want to take my time and only go to class when it is free?
it turned, out, however, that the point is moot when the schedule for Summer classes eventually came out last week.

this whole time i had been operating on the assumption that there would even be classes that i could take over the Summer.
surely the whole institution can't shut down entirely for four months?
but, when the schedule came out i was surprised to find that there were only twelve classes being offered, most of which i didn't have the slightest interest in taking:
Oil and Gas Law, Transactional Law Bootcamp, Special Topics in Real Estate Financing.
christ, who cares!?!
then there were other classes that would likely be interesting but that i did not qualify for:
Deposition Skills Workshop, Death Penalty Seminar, Special Topics in International Law.
the listed prerequisites said “one year of study in the full or part-time program” which i would qualify for, but then, under that it read “including Civil Procedure” which is a class only the full-time kids have taken already. i won't get to that until next Fall.
so, this class isn't for part-time First Years at all. that's a lie.
this meant the options for classes that i could take over the Summer were pretty much slim to none.

i decided i should at least see if it was possible to get waived in to one of the classes that i don't qualify for.
the Death Penalty Seminar seemed really interesting and considering that i'm going to Law School with the intention of trying to get people out of prison, it seemed right up my alley.
at first i tried to contact the Professor, but the guy who teaches the class is an adjunct who nobody on the regular faculty had heard of and doesn't seem to have a faculty e-mail address.
which meant that if i had any hope of getting into this class, i would have to go try to cajole the Associate Dean of Academic Affairs.
the problem being that the Associate Dean of Academic Affairs is the meanest woman i've ever met in my life.
she was a former L.A. County Prosecutor and Defense Attorney and she talks to us like a prison guard.
the few interactions i've had with the woman have been watching her berate the class as a whole and, goddamn, who the hell talks to people like that!?!
i knew the answer was going to be a firm “fuck off!” but i figured i had to try.
so i wandered into the Dean's suite and found the Associate Dean clunking around her office.
i cleared my throat and said “so, i'm a part-time, but i'd really like to take this Death Penalty Seminar over the Summer... is there any way i could get a waiver to join, even though i haven't had Civil Procedure yet?”
and, predictably, she told me to “fuck off!” and that was that.
“you know, the selection for classes to take over the Summer is really sparse. i was really hoping to get ahead over the Summer, but i don't think i'm gonna have the opportunity...”
“we don't want you taking Summer classes,” she told me bluntly, “you're supposed to be working.
go get yourself an internship and fuck the fuck out of my office!”

and so goes my plans to take classes over Summer term.
the School is really trying to press me into taking an internship but, christ, i really don't want to work over the Summer.
i'm not ready for that shit.
not now. maybe not ever.

//[an irato ad astra]

September 2017

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