Wednesday - Lunch With The Dean:
on Wednesday i had a lunch date with the Dean of the Law School.
the Dean is also my Property Professor, so, it's not just some dude at random.
about a month or so ago the Dean came in to Property class and passed around sign-up sheets for anybody who wanted to have lunch with him.
i signed up, just like most everybody else did because, why not?
i was supposed to have lunch with the Dean a few weeks ago but the other girls in my lunch date group all had to cancel for various reasons so it got pushed back to last Wednesday.
i'm not normally on campus on Wednesdays, Wednesdays are my day to do other shit, but, what am i gonna do, blow off the Dean, so, i got myself dressed and drove to campus for a free lunch.

our lunch date appointment was at a bar next door to the Law School.
many of my classmates go there to get drunk between classes but i've never been there because why would i?
to socialize with my peers? to make new friends? to be less of a creep?
i was anxious about showing up to a place i don't know because everybody gets anxious about shit like that, i think, but fortunately as i was walking down the block from the Law School to the bar i ran into two other girls who were in my lunch date group.
these are girls that i've been in class with since August, though, i don't know if i've ever said a word to two out of three of them.
they sit on the other side of the room from me.

the two girls and i walked into the bar, were greeted by an overly enthusiastic barman, ignored his solicitations and went to go take a table in the back.
i talked to the two girls for a while.
one of them owns/runs a horse farm about an hour north of town.
she looks like the kind of girl who is into horses. the kind who, in middle school, you suspect discovered masturbation while thinking about horses.
the other is a Mormon.
but not just a regular Mormon, this girl was once a normal person, she spent her first nineteen years growing up in Long Beach with Atheist parents but then her boyfriend killed himself and she went shopping for spirituality and the Mormons got their hooks into her.
she tried out several churches, she even went to a Jew temple, but the Mormons offer a total package, a complete and total waste of time, not just a waste of Christmases and Easters and Sunday mornings and that kind of totality was attractive to her.
she went to Brigham Young and she married a nice Mormon boy and everything, so, she's totally lost.
as an Atheist, i was sorry to lose her. we don't often get people going the other way.

after a while the Dean turned up, followed by the third girl in our lunch group.
we all went up to the bar's cash register and ordered sandwiches that the Dean put on the Law School's credit card.
they say Texas A&M has more money then god.
i ordered a veggie wrap. it came with spinach. i tried to substitute for arugula, or even lettuce, but the hipster cunts behind the bar refused to accommodate me for reasons i don't understand.
it was either take the sandwich with the spinach or look like a weirdo in front of the Dean, so i did that.
it was not good.
we went back to our table in the back and spent the next hour, seventy-five minutes making awkward conversation.
the Mormon was chatty, but the Horse Girl and the other one weren't good for much.
i tried to walk a thin line between carrying the conversation and not wanting to appear to dominate it.
this was the Dean's show, after all and i didn't want to step on his toes.
we talked a lot about farms.
the Dean grew up in New Jersey [i shat all over he home town Camden, though, i don't know how politic that was] but his wife grew up on a sheep farm in west Texas.
they are having trouble finding people to sheer all their sheep these days because apparently people aren't going into the sheep-sheering trade like they used to.
i offered to go out there and give it a try, how hard could it be, but the Dean declined my offer.

after a while the girls in our lunch group had to get on to a class that i don't take.
i thanked the Dean for lunch and thanked him again.
i have a feeling that this whole thing was just the Dean's way of playing a long game, sizing up up as potential donors if and when we ever graduate and make any money, but it could just be that the guy likes to share his meals with people.

Saturday - The Graduate Record Examinations:
a few weeks ago i got a mass e-mail from the Law School soliciting volunteers to sign up for a research study the school was conducting with the people at Educational Testing Services to see about using the GREs in place of the LSATs for Law School Admissions.
i didn't have the slightest interest in any of that.
in Property class later that week the Dean pleaded with us to sign up. he implored us on our sense of duty to our school and Aggie Honor.
the school needs between seventy-five and a hundred people to make the test valid and they were really trying to get people on board.
to incentivize us, the school was offering an Amazon gift card in the amount of $50, and then, if your scores are within one standard deviation of your LSAT scores, another $50 bonus.
so they don't have people showing up and just filling in all Bs or whatever.
neither doing my duty for my school nor the promise of $50, maybe $100 still wasn't enough to get me interested in spending a Saturday morning taking a standardized test when i have so much other shit to do, but then they decided to sweeten the pot even further by offering to push back the due date for our Trial Briefs that were due that weekend.
our Trial Briefs were due via electronic submission at 10:00pm on Sunday but, if we took the GRE research exam, we could submit them by 10:00pm the following Tuesday.
well hell, if i can gain an extra 44 hours to work on my paper by wasting 4, and get $50, maybe $100 to boot, and make the Dean who is my Professor happy, okay, let's do this shit.

they gave the GREs at 10:00am on Saturday.
when i turned up to School, a lady with a metal detecting wand in her hand told me that i wasn't allowed to bring anything into the exam room, so i had to strip down to cloth, take off my belt and my utility belt and handgun like i was going through airport security and leave them in my locker.
then i went and reported to the check-in desk where a lady gave me a paper with a paragraph i had to copy over in cursive.
the paragraph was something to the effect of “i will not cheat on this exam” but it was five or six sentences long.
i don't have any idea why we had to write it in cursive.
i don't write cursive, i barely write in print. i use a TITSsystem of block letters and glyphs that sometimes resemble traditional letters but other times deviate substantially.
i haven't written cursive since they made us learn the dumb shit in the third grade and couldn't for the life of me recall how to make an F or a J or how to connect a P or a T to anything else, so i just ended up making an illegible mess.
this is what the people at the Educational Testing Service want, so, that's what we will do.
then i went to go get pat down by the lady with the metal detector, then went into a classroom to star taking my test on a computer they provided.

the GREs are a six-section test. if i recall correctly, only five sections are graded.
there was a written-response section comprised of two prompts. he had a half hour to respond to each.
then there was a verbal reasoning section, a math section, another verbal reasoning section, another math section and another verbal reasoning section.
one of the verbal reasoning was a throw-away.
in between sections i was afforded a sixty-second break to stretch and/or look around the room.
in between the third and fourth sections, i was afforded a ten minute break to go walk around in the halls.
about eight minutes into the break i found some people were setting up a breakfast buffet of eggs and bacon in the lunchroom.
What The Fuck Is This!?! Who Is This For!?! Why Is This Here And Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me!?!
i grabbed three strips of bacon and gobbled them down real quick before i had to get back to my GRE exam.
for the rest of the three sections, all i could think about was getting through with it all and getting back to the bacon but by the time i got out of the test at 1:30-ish, there was nothing left but a few pieces of fruit.
i sat and gobbled down the fruit before heading home. i'm not gonna pass up free fruit.

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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