Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice - Ultimate Edition:
apparently, the difference between the 'Ultimate Edition' and the regular edition of Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice is an extra thirty minutes of movie.
i did not know that when i stole the movie off the internet. it was just the torrent that came up on the top of the queue.
those extra thirty minutes made Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice's three-hour run time overlong by about ninety minutes.

before i watched Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice i thought it was going to be a movie about the moral choices that bring each character to the conflict point.
Batman would be motivated to fight Superman because somebody has to serve as a check on Superman's unlimited power and Superman would be motivated to fight Batman because he cannot tolerate Batman's methods.
i thought the movie was going to be an analysis of the differing worldviews of each of the iconic characters and what they represent.
it turned out i was expecting too much.
what i got was a movie about Batman fighting Superman.
that's it. that's all there is to it.
it's what the movie business calls 'high concept' when they're trying to be funny.

in Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice Batman is motivated to not only fight but to kill Superman because Batman is sick of having to live with a god in his midst.
which is a resentment i totally understand.
if i had to live in the same world as a god, i would like to think i would invest all of my resources into making him bleed, too.
Superman is motivated to fight Batman because Lex Luthor kidnapped Martha Kent and told Superman he would kill her if he didn't bring him Batman's head.
you would think that Superman would just melt Lex Luthor with his laser eyes right then and there, then use his super-hearing to listen for his mom and go rescue her, he could do that shit all in under a minute if he was inclined, but instead the Last Son of Krypton, a god living among men, decides to let himself be blackmailed by a dodgy crook.
so, Batman and Superman fight for a while and Batman wins because he got his hands on some kryptonite and weaponize it, but then it turns out Batman and Superman's moms have the same name and when Superman whimpers a plea to save his mommy, Batman suddenly discovers empathy which he'd shown no sign of possessing for the entire movie.
Batman lets Superman go and decides to go help him save his mom, which really makes Batman seem like he didn't think this whole thing out.
either Superman is a threat to the world and needs to be stopped at all costs or he is not, which is it, Dark Knight?

so, Batman and Superman go to fight Lex Luthor and rescue Martha Kent, but then Lex Luthor lets loose Doomsday which is a Kryptonian super-monster that he was able to build by using General Zod's ship from a previous Superman movie which, i guess had a make-a-monster workshop on board or reasons that don't make a lick of sense.
Lex Luthor is a fucking genius and all, but you can't tell me that some dude can just make an unstoppable monster capable of destroying planets on an alien ship unsing technology he can't possibly understand in just a few days time.
also, what the fuck was his end game?
i get that Superman is a total fag and that Lex Luthor wants to rid the world of him, but what happens after Doomsday has defeated Superman? what then?
whatever the fuck Lex Luthor wants to do in a post-Superman world can't very well be done with an unstoppable monster running around destroying everything.
where the fuck are you going with this, Lex?
Batman and Superman fight Doomsday for a while and eventually Wonder Woman turns up to help too.
eventually they are able to impale Doomsday with a Kryptonite-tipped spear that Batman had made and that kills the monster, but not before Doomsday is able to kill Superman, the end.
which, of course, isn't the end for Superman at all as DC has a whole bunch of Justice League movies lined up but it's the end for now.

in the Batman v. Superman debate i am staunchly in Batman's corner.
there is too much potential for devastation in Superman to allow him to go unchecked.
there needs to be a force in operation to be able to put Superman own, should Superman ever need to be put down.
but, it's not enough for Batman just to have Kryptonite weaponry laying around should the time come that he would need to use it, you want to kick the piss out of Superman once or twice to let him know that you can.
to bring the cunt down a peg.
i totally get the psychology behind Batman wanting to take Superman down. it makes sense to me.
unfortunately, Batman as i've written him in the movie in my own head is not the Batman as he was portrayed in Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice.
in Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice, Batman is just an asshole for no reason who doesn't seem to have a plan for Superman counter-measures as much as he just wants to kill a god, like a big-game hunter wants to kill a lion.
Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice was not a movie about the moral consequences of living amongst a god and the responsibility that comes with taking fate into ones own hands.
it is a movie about a child crashing action figures into each other for the sake of the crashing for three long hours, and that is a whole lot of bad movie.

for being a movie full of promise and no delivery, for taking the third-best comic book in the history of comic books and boloxing it all up to make a movie with a plot that is just a disjointed excuse to get to the title's promise and for being way too long and way too boring and leaving me feeling tired and exhausted by the end, Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice earns a 3.8/10.

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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