xtitsx: (Default)
( 13 Apr 2017 04:41 pm)
i pee all the time. i can't hold my urine for more then ninety minutes.
sometimes, i can't hold my urine for more then twenty minutes.
it's not so much of a problem that i pee in my pants, and i only wake up to pee during the night once or twice, but all throughout the day, my bladder makes itself known every twenty, forty, seventy, ninety minutes.
when i'm at Law School, i'm always the first one to get up and run out the door for the toilet at breaks.
when i'm trying to go to sleep at night, i have to factor in at least an hour's worth of getting up to pee three, four, five, six times before i finally fall asleep.
this has been a problem i've had for maybe a year or two or three but i suspect it's getting worse.

i finally brought the issue up when i went to go meet my my new G.P. that came with my latest Obamacare plan back in January.
i told the woman my problem and she told me to drink less water and come back in a month if it persisted.
lady, it's gonna persist, but i did what she said.
a month later i reported back to my G.P. and told her that i still pee all the time.
she told me she could give me a prostate exam, but i am too young to be having prostate problems.
also, she told me that, because she has short fingers, even if she was going to give me a prostate exam, she might not be able to feel anything.
this woman really did not want to stick her fingers up my asshole.
the G.P. recommended i go see a urologist about the problem, then she got out of the exam room, quickly.

getting to see a urologist is not as easy as it ought to me.
in a civilized world, you call up any urologist in the phone book and make an appointment, or, even better, your G.P.'s secretary will do it for you, but this is America and healthcare is not a right so, fuck you, sucker, you're on your own.
i called up my shite Obamacare Insurance and asked them which urologists they would pay for me to go see. there weren't many.
i got three names and telephone numbers, two were disconnected and the third wasn't seeing patients with my kind of insurance at his private practice, only at the free clinic, and there was a seven-month wait to get in there.
what the fuck is the point of having Obamacare insurance and paying a monthly premium if the urologist can see me at the free clinic in seven months?
i called my Obamacare Insurance back and asked them what the fuck to do.
they gave me another three numbers to try.
one was in Dallas and one wasn't taking my Obamacare Insurance, despite what my Obamacare Insurance might think.
the third was in Fort Worth, was taking my insurance and was able to see me within thirty days.
finally!
i made an appointment with him for last Friday.

i got to my appointment with the urologist at 3:20, ten minutes early for my 3:30 appointment.
the tell you to get there a half hour early to fill out paperwork, but fuck that, that's stupid.
straight away, as soon as i walked in the door i saw that my urologist was a follower of Jesus Christ And He Wanted To Make Sure You Knew About It!!!!
there were crosses everywhere and awards on the walls from the Christian Urologist's Fellowship.
the receptionist said “have a blessed day” every time she answered the phone and there was a sign in the exam room that announced that the doctor or the staff chaplain would be happy to pray with you, if requested.
goddammit, what have i gotten myself into!?!
i am reluctant to patronize a business that let's me know its faith, i won't got to a Chick-Fil-A or Hobby Lobby or Cracker Barrel [and i don't think i'm missing much] but, i've come so far to get my dick a checkup, i might as well see this through.

i don't know if it's because they could tell that i was an Atheist or because they just don't know what they are doing, but it was two hours and ten minutes between when i arrived for my appointment and when i finally got to see the doctor.
they weren't even all that busy in there, there were maybe two or three people ahead of me when i checked in, but i guess if the fucking urologist has to pray with everybody he sees, the day can just slip away from him.
i spent the afternoon pacing around the lobby, then pacing around the exam room, getting more and more upset.
i had brought along a book to read, but, as the afternoon pissed away i became more and more indignant.

at some point in the middle of my wait a nurse came around and asked me what my problem is.
i told her that i pee all the time.
and, while i was there i told her that also, sometimes, there will be a dull ache in the tip of my penis after ejaculation.
maybe ten, twenty percent of the time. maybe a little more now that i'm getting older.
and i told her that i am a bit concerned that the volume of my ejaculation seems low.
i do not enjoy the kind of pornography that features other dude's dicks, when i watch pornography i enjoy watching teenage girls jerk themselves off by themselves on their webcams, but on the few occasions when i do see some dude ejaculate for whatever reason, it's always so much more then i produce.
i did not mention my enthusiasm for teenage girls masturbating to the nurse.
anyways, the nurse made a note of my problems then left me in the exam room for another hour.
finally, at 5:30pm the Urologist came around and it was time to get to work on my dick troubles.

“how are you?” the Christian Urologist asked.
“well, you've kept me waiting here for over two hours, Doc...” i grumbled.
but rather then apologizing, rather then letting me know that he has some small sense of consideration for wasting two hours of my time, the Christian cunt got defensive and said “well, you know, we give every patient the attention they deserve...”
that's great, motherfucker, but maybe you should book fewer patients per day, then, or get a better sense of how long each appointment takes and schedule things accordingly.
i didn't say that, i just moved on to talking about my dick.

i told the Urologist my troubles and he told me to pull down my drawers.
i showed the Urologist my dick, he grabbed it in his gloved hands and looked at the tip.
“have you had any trauma to the head of your penis?” he asked.
“just a bris” i told him. involuntary circumcisions really ought to be against the law.
the Urologist squeezed the head of my penis, looked at it head-on and pronounced my problem to be that my pisshole was too small.
i have a narrow urethra. apparently it's about twenty-five percent of the size it is supposed to be.
which begs the question, what to other dude's pissholes look like? great big gaping maws?
i thought mine is perfectly normal. it certainly looks normal too me.
i wish there was a way i could ask my friends and casual acquaintances how big their pissholes are, for reference, but we live in a society where that is frowned upon.

a narrow urethra is an explanation for all three of my problems.
a narrow urethra means that i can't get out all my urine in one pissing so i have to keep returning to the toilet every half hour and a narrow urethra means that i don't ejaculate as much semen as i'm producing, causing it to back up into my dick, causing an ache.
but a narrow urethra sure wasn't a problem i was expecting.
and i wasn't expecting the Urologist's solution, surgery to expand the size of my pisshole.
i thought the guy would just give me a pill or something.
i was not planing on having to go under the knife.

urethra excavation surgery is an out-patient surgery done at a local hospital.
it should take about four hours, in and out, but they will be completely sedating me, so the PSE will have to drive me there and back.
i will have two stitches in my dick that will dissolve on their own and, for weeks afterwards, i will pe spraying piss all over the bathroom floor.
i don't know how much this surgery will cost, but my shite Obamacare insurance has a $600 deductible.
likely, i will have to pay however much is left of that deductible, $500, maybe, in cash out-of-pocket.
of course, the alternative is that i can just go down to a piercing shop and pay some kid with holes in his face $80 for a Prince Albert, but, i don't want to be one of those kinds of people.
dick piercings are fine when you're in your 20s. when you're thirty five, you go in for corrective urethral stricture surgery.

after looking at my too-small pisshole the Urologist was on his way, out of the exam room.
our whole appointment couldn't have lasted longer then seven minutes, which isn't much time at all to decide if i want to take my penis under a knife.
the motherfucker didn't even offer to pray with me.
i went back out to the lobby, gave a $5 co-pay to a receptionist who told me to have a blessed day and said a surgery scheduler would be calling later in the week.
as i was driving home it occurred to me that the whole thing, how short the visit was and how we got off on the wrong foot could have just been the Urologist's way of getting back at me for giving him a hard time about the wait.
'this little shit wants to give me grief!?! well! let's just go tunneling in his peehole and see who's complaining then!'
i wouldn't put anything past a man so enraptured with religious fever.
i should really see about a second opinion before i agree to have my pisshole excavated by a guy who clearly doesn't like me but this is the only Urologist in the county my Obamacare insurance will pay for so i'm pretty much screwed.
for now, surgery is set for the middle of May.

//[ab irato ad astra]
.

July 2017

S M T W T F S
       1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 202122
23242526272829
3031