i woke up at 8:32am on Thursday.
i did not have Property which meant i got to sleep in a bit, but not as much as i normally would get to sleep in on a no-Property day, because i had Oral Arguments in Legal Writing II that i had to prepare for.
i had a seven-minute monologue prepared about why my play-pretend client Jeremy Beeper ought to be granted summary judgment on the grounds of the Statute of Limitations and Parental Immunity.
our Professor wanted us to be able to deliver our introductions from memory and to only occasionally look at our notes for the rest of the endeavor.
normally i'm pretty good at talking off-the-cuff, but that is in informal situations.
in situations with the air of formality, i like to be able to rely on prepared remarks so i don't end up inadvertently cussing too much.
which meant i had to spend half of Wednesday and an hour before class Thursday morning trying to commit all of my talking points to memory.
i normally have a pretty good memory, but i did not want to fuck this up.
my grade in Legal Writing II is bad enough.

i did my morning things, grabbed myself a lunch i had to pack for myself the night before, then got myself dressed in a suit.
this is play-pretend court and i had to look nice.
i don't know why our Professor/play-pretend judge couldn't just play pretend that i was wearing formal attire, but he told us to get dressed up so that's what i had to do.
i put on the only suit i own, then gathered up the Monster and drove her to daycare to spend the afternoon locked in a cage around other dogs she doesn't like.
i got to campus around 9:45, forty-five minutes before class was supposed to start.
i wanted to stake out the play-pretend courtroom, to stand up at the podium and practice my speech out loud but another one of my classmates got there first.
goddammit, Bat-Sheva!
i found another empty classroom and went through my entire speech two or three times, then paced around in the halls until class-time.

at 10:30, i went and sat behind the Defense table. i was the first up for the day.
which is fortunate. i felt a bit of pity for the poor kids who had to sit there a bundle of nerves waiting, waiting, waiting for their turn to get up in front of the entire class and embarrass themselves.
i was happy to get this over with.
i launched into my speech, “good morning, your honor, and may it please the court...”
i got through about ten seconds of memorized script before i was back down to my notes.
after another ten seconds of that the Professor/play-pretend judge interrupted me to ask me a series of questions about the Statute of Limitations.
i answered, we went back and forth for a while and before i knew it, my five-minute time limit was up.
i didn't even get to get into my second topic, Parental Immunity.
then it was the play-pretend Plaintiff's turn to speak.
i was going against a girl who is the seventh-ranked student in our class.
i am significantly lower-down the class rankings.
to my happy surprise, though, she wasn't all that good of a public speaker, even though she said she also does stand-up comedy.
girls doing stand-up comedy isn't really a thing, though.
anyways, after she mumbled her way through her back-and-forth with the Professor/play-pretend judge i was back up on for redirect for another two minutes.
i shat all over what opposing-counsel had to say, went back and forth with the Professor some more and that was it. case closed.
the Professor told me i did well, though, perhaps i shouldn't have called opposing counsel's work “slipshod.”
“you're gonna have to work with these people for the rest of your career” he warned.
whatever. i didn't get into the law to make friends.
i don't know that i've ever done anything to make friends, really.

after my go-round i watched three other pairs of classmates do their Oral Arguments and then class was through.
afterwards, several of my classmates complimented me on my performance. several said it was the best in class.
that was nice. i always enjoy a compliment.
i thought about hanging around after Legal Writing in my suit, to carry over my look and impress my classmates in Contracts, but it was hot as shit out and i was schvitzing in my three-piece so i drove back to my apartment and undressed into my normal TITS attire.
then i drove over to Monster's Daycare and i took her out on an hour-long walk around the industrial part of town.
it was nice to get to visit with my friend in the middle of the day.
we shared a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, then it was time to return her to the facility and to get back to school.

in Contracts we talked about special contract remedies.
normally, in American jurisprudence, the remedy for a breach of contract is monetary damages.
but, in certain, uncommon circumstances, the court can compel other remedies, namely, Specific Performance.
Specific Performance is just what it sounds like, where the court makes the breaching party in a contract do the thing they had contracted to do.
Courts don't like it because it can edge too close to slavery, but sometimes, it is the only way to remedy a contract dispute when cash just won't do.
there is also Liquidated Damages, which are damages that are specifically detailed in the provisions of a contract.
Liquidated Damages must be proportionate to the actual loss, however, they cannot be punitive.
we talked about several cases that dealt with the subjects, but off the top of my head, i can't recall what they are.

half way through the class, at break-time, i found a bunch of pastries, coffee cakes and mini-brownies in the lunchroom.
leftovers from one of the many conferences and meetings the Law School is always having.
i went back to the classroom and reported my find to a few of my fellow classmates who i know also like to eat.
after class, as we were piling out of the room, one of my classmates, a middle-aged woman named Heather told me that next Halloween, she was going to go as me.
put her face on her shirt, draw some green dots on her leg, put the word TITS on her pants.
i told her it was a capital idea. imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
now all i have to do is manage to not fail out of Law School between now and then.

normally, come the end of Contract at 3:20 i run out the door out to my freedom but on Thursday i had one more stop to make before i could begin my weekend.
i had to go down to the library in the basement where the Legal Writing II T.A. has another student job working the circulation desk.
i wanted to visit with her to borrow her Blue Book and Green Book, which are the style manuals used for legal writing in general and legal writing for Texas, respectively.
they tell you exactly what you are supposed to do, where the commas go, what to italicize and what Latin gibberish to use in what circumstances.
we were supposed to have been learning this dumb shit all year, but i never really did and there is a Citation Exam next week.
i wanted to take a look a the tabs that the T.A. put on her books indicating which parts of the 560-page books were important because otherwise, the big thing is just a useless brick to me.
so, the T.A. let me borrow her books and i bought a thing of sticky-tabs from the bookstore and i spent a half hour filling my books with the same tab scheme the T.A. has in hers.
i don't know what good that will do me come Citation Exam time, but i figured it was worth the half hour.

i got out of Law School at 4:00pm and went over to Daycare to collect the Monster.
then we drove back to the apartment to enjoy our weekend together alone, as best we could.

//[ab irato ad astra]
.

September 2017

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