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( 25 Apr 2017 01:57 pm)
the alarm went off at 7:18am Thursday morning.
i woke up, did my morning things, then gathered up the Monster and took her off to daycare.
then i got to Law School and settled in for what turned out to be the very last time of the semester.
good news!

Property was a bonus class.
because of the screwy schedule we had all semester on account of our Professor being the Dean and class meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Fridays as the Dean sees fit, we hit our twenty-eight classes on Tuesday.
Thursday was a “bonus” review session to cover all the stuff we'd learned all semester
it was optional, attendance was not taken, but goddamn if i'm gonna miss an opportunity to go over everything i need to know for the final.
turns out, however, that i got out of bed two hours early for nothing.
this “review session” was just the Professor/Dean talking about Property in very broad, philosophical strokes for ten minutes, then spending another ten minutes telling us not to worry about the final, that we'll be fine, then a final ten minutes of him showing us videos of emus attacking people.
that's it.
class ended an hour early at 9:20 and everybody looked at each other totally unsatisfied.
what the fuck!?!
we still don't have a fucking clue about how the Rule Against Perpetuities works or the difference between a vested interest or a vested remainder or what happens when O leaves their property to A for life so long as no alcohol is served on the premises and then to B for life and then to C and his heirs.
what the fuck does any of this mean?
i guess we'll never know.

before leaving, the Professor/Dean passed around a bundle of sticks [a faggot!] that he had used all semester as a teaching tool.
when we talked out of turn, he would thwack us with it.
no. they don't let you be Dean if you thwack the kids at school these days.
the faggot of sticks represented the bundle of all the different property rights people can have.
the right to live on the land, the right to claim ownership, the right to exclude others from the property, the right to run a slaughterhouse on your property, the right to run a whorehouse, the right to mine for oil, the right to fish, the right to dam up all the water so nobody else can use it, the right to hunt The Most Dangerous Game, etc...
there are all kinds of things people can and cannot do with property, depending on what different regulatory schemes have been imposed on the property by different levels of government and/or private agencies and/or the lineage of title.
the bundle of sticks is a way for us to help conceptualize that property rights are severable and tradeable as their own things.
anyways, this being the last day of class, he passed the bundle of sticks around for us to take one as a souvenir.
i guess, being the Dean, he's got enough room in the budget to buy himself more sticks for next semester.
i sit in the very back of the room and i was a little concerned that there wouldn't be any sticks left for me by the time the bundle made its way around.
it turned out the Dean had exactly enough sticks for everybody [that's how he got to be the Dean] but some other girl in one of the other rows took two for reasons i don't understand.
i would have been shorted out of a stick, but the girl who sits next to me decided she didn't want one, so she passed the last one on to me.
“are you sure?” i asked, but she didn't seem to see much value in taking a stick.
“i can go get one from that cunt who took two?” i pressed, but my neighbor didn't want me to make a big deal out of it.
for the rest of the day, everybody in my section was walking around with sticks with little flags on them, which made the other kids in the other two First Year sections and the Second and Third Years a bit confused.

after our bonus Property class i had an hour to kill until it was time for Legal Writing.
i guess i should have spent the time studying for the big Citation Exam we would be having, but i can never get myself to study if there is anything else to do, so i made chit-chat with my classmates instead.
i talked to one guy in my Legal Writing class who spent four and a half years as a copper, working undercover with the Mexican Mafia and the Outlaws.
well that's awesome!
who knew slack-jawed Mike was so interesting!?!
another fellow, Oliver, came around with a plate full of chocolate chip cookies he had baked himself.
apparently Oliver was running for Student Council or some shit and he was trying to buy people's votes.
well shit, i would have voted for Oliver anyway, he's a good guy, but cookies never hurt anybody so, after taking two, i went out to the election table to cast my vote for Oliver and three other guys i knew from class to represent my interests come Second Year.
later i found out that Oliver did not win.

when 10:30 came around it was time to sit for my Legal Writing II Citation Exam.
the Citation Exam is the culmination of the Legal writing semester and it asks us to be able translate a series of cases and statutes and law review publications into an indecipherable code lawyers are supposed to know how to read:
Tex. Dep’t of Transp. v. City of Amarillo, No. 07-04-0485-CV, 2005 WL 2367770, at *1–2 (Tex. App.—Amarillo Sept. 27, 2005, pet. denied) (mem. op.).
Jaffree v. Bd. of Sch. Comm’rs, 554 F. Supp. 1104, 1111 (S.D. Ala.), aff’d in part, rev’d in part sub nom. Jaffree v. Wallace, 705 F.2d 1526 (11th Cir. 1983).
what the fuck is that shit? most of those aren't even words.
does that make any sense to you? of course it doesn't, but, learning to trade in gibberish is what we do in Legal Writing and, at the end of the semester we now have to demonstrate our competence.

we spread out across the room in front of our laptop computers, with a program that blocks access to anything on our computers except an answer sheet.
our Professor distributed our exam packets, put seventy-five minutes on the clock and set us to it.
we had to answer eleven questions about how to cite different legal sources.
we were allowed to reference our Legal Writing Style Manuals, the Blue Book and the Green Book, which are a combined 718 pages of rules and regulations for how to transcribe normal words into gibberish.
both books are absolutely useless to me. i don't have any idea how to use them.
i had printed out the answers to previous-years Citation Exams and taped them into the Blue Book [this wasn't cheating, the Professor said we could write whatever we wanted in the book] but, when it came time to taking the exam, they were pretty much useless.
seventy-five minutes might seem like a long time to answer eleven questions, but when you're transcribing things into a different fucking language, it slips away very fast.
at the end of the seventy-five minutes i hit “submit” on the computer and my fate was sealed.

after submitting my Citation Exam me and several other of my Legal Writing classmates followed our Professor down to his office to receive our grades for our Oral Arguments that we did the week previous.
i got a 9/10 which is respectable, unfortunate, Oral Arguments are only worth 5% of our final grade.
our Citation Exam is worth 10% of our final grade and i found out later that i shat the bed in that regard.
i found out on Friday afternoon that i got a 66/100 on the Citation Exam.
the class average was a 74. the class high was a 92, but the class low was a 46.
i am happy to not be that 46, but, christ, 66 is pretty pitiful.
i did poorly on the Citation Exam and i did poorly on the first Memo we had to write for the semester.
if i don't do really, really well on the Trial Brief we submitted a few weeks ago [and i have no reason to assume that i will] i will fail Legal Writing and i will fail out of Law School.
so, with my very future in the balance, i asked the Professor if there was anything i could do to improve my grade.
not, like, suck his dick or anything. i was thinking more like extra credit.
when i was teaching school, i was happy to give extra credit to any kid who asked for it.
unfortunately, there is a difference between middle school and Law School and the Professor told me to fuck the fuck out of his office.

we did not have Contracts on Thursday.
our Professor's father-in-law died unexpectedly and he had to go out of state to deal with that mess.
this would have meant that we would have a make-up class some other time, but, because we took midterms outside of our normal class time several weeks ago, we could count that at one of the twenty-eight classes we are required to have taken to get our credit hours.
so, Tuesday's Contract's class was the last.
we didn't get around to the last unit of our book, Unit 28, but i guess i'm just gonna have to go the rest of my life completely ignorant of Contract Assignment and Delegation.

and so, the semester ended.
the end kind of snuck up on me, i had no idea it was all drawing to a close so soon, but, of course, i'm not complaining.
i still have finals to take for both Property and Contracts and that will be a great big pain in the ass, but, for right now, i'm gonna enjoy a few days of peace before i have to worry about all that shit.

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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