The Intern:
i don't know how the fuck The Intern ended up on my movie queue.
it is nothing like any of the kinds of movies i like to watch.
i normally enjoy science fiction and fantasy, award-winning dramas and biographies, heist movies, slashers, comic book movies [reluctantly, more and more.]
this wasn't any of that.
really, i didn't even know what the fuck The Intern was about and i had no idea why it was on my queue.
though, once a movie gets on my queue, i've got to watch it, trusting to whatever instinct or mistake lead me to put it there in the first place.

as far as i knew The Intern was a movie about Robert De Niro going to work for Anne Hathaway for reasons i didn't know.
i expected it to be a broad comedy with a lot of jokes about how old people have difficulties with technology.
“uh oh! i deleted an important e-mail again!” “how do i Google!?!” “what's Tinder!?!”
there would probably be a few jokes about how insufferable millennial are when juxtaposed against older generations, but, that both groups would come to appreciate each other and learn from each other by the end of the movie.
something like that, maybe?
it turned out The Intern wasn't anything like that at all.
all for the better.

The Intern was a movie about Robert De Niro going to work for Anne Hathaway.
i got that part right, but everything else i was off on.
Robert De Niro is a competent, successful retiree who, after his wife dies, decides to take an internship at a local start-up as a way to keep busy.
Anne Hathaway runs the start-up, some kind of company that sells cloths over the internet somehow, and Robert De Niro gets assigned to be her personal assistant.
she is reluctant to use him at first, but eventually they grow to like each other.
and that's it. that's the movie.
you keep waiting for something else to happen, for there to be some kind of a conflict to drive the story, but there never is.
it's just two hours of Robert De Niro being likable and Anne Hathaway being likable and them liking each other and the audience liking them.
at some point we find out that Anne Hathaway's husband is cheating on her, but that is so far removed from the point of the story that it doesn't even matter.

if you went into The Intern expecting a comedy movie you would have been disappointed.
though, if you're the kind of person who enjoys comedies, you are probably terrible and would watch anything.
you might have been thinking of The Internship with Vince Vaughn and whichever Wilson brother tried to kill himself which is exactly what you would expect.
i had to watch that piece of shit on a plane from New York to Stockholm.
if you went into The Intern expecting any kind of convention about modern story-telling, that there needs to be a plot or central conflict you would have been confounded.
i kept expecting Robert De Niro to fuck something up because he is old or Anne Hathaway to be cruel to him because she is assertive.
i kept expecting there to be a mystery that needs to be solved or an adventure to be had.
maybe Robert De Niro would die at the end of the movie and it would be sad or maybe if the movie really wanted to take a disturbing turn there might be some kind of sexual tension between the two.
but the movie never did any of that and it was better that way.
neither Robert De Niro nor Anne Hathaway grow or change in any way throughout the movie because they were both just fine the way they started out.
the movie was just two hours about their lives, a guy takes an internship at a start-up, and that's it.

for not being funny, for not being quirky, for not feeling like it has to impress me, for being a movie about a likable guy working for a likable woman, for being a likable movie and for challenging the idea that movies are supposed to have something happen in them for them to be good, The Intern earns a 7.0/10.

Hated: GG Allin And The Murder Junkies:
somehow i've never seen the GG Allin movie.
though i've never stooped as low as to call myself a punk rocker, i've spent most of my life appreciating punk rock.
virulent, rabid contempt for authority is the soundtrack to my heart.
and it's fair to say that you don't really get much more punk rock then GG Allin.
that isn't to say that i am one of those guys who idolizes GG Allin, his music is mostly bad and if i ever found myself in the same room with him the odds are i would find him insufferable, but he is the kind of rare bird that i am glad got to make his impression on the world before he died puking in a pile of his own shit, or however GG Allin went out.

like everybody else who enjoys punk rock and being a scum bag, i am familiar with the GG Allin story.
a borderline schizophrenic impresses unimpressive teenagers by rolling around in his own shit.
there was nothing new in Hated: GG Allin And The Murder Junkies, but it was still nice to get to see GG Allin at work for fifty minutes.
also, at some point GG does a cover of Waren Zeavon's Carmalita which is downright haunting.
the motherfucker had talent when he wanted to use it.

i guess what stands out for me about Hated: GG Allin And The Murder Junkies isn't GG Allin's antics, everybody knows what GG Allin is all about.
that kind of stuff might have been shocking back in 1993 or whenever the movie came out, but by the time i first heard of GG Allin in 2000, rolling around in your own shit and hitting people was pretty old hat.
i've done it all myself on more then one occasion.
what i really liked about Hated: GG Allin And The Murder Junkies, however, and about GG Allin himself,was the man's dedication to absolute zero.
the people i respect most in life are people who change the world.
the people i respect second-most are the ones who drop out entirely.
bending the world to the way you want it to be is a big task, i get that, a job not one man in a generation can do.
but, everybody can drop out if they have enough balls.

you can live a pretty heroic life if you just do whatever the hell you want to do all the time.
if you live with no responsibilities, no shame, no obligations and no fear of the law you can unlock a kind of freedom most of us can never access.
i think i've gone farther then a lot of people in embracing the ethos of do-as-you-please but GG Allin is a fucking master.
i've got a dog and a girlfriend, i've got Parents that i would prefer not to disappointment and i enjoy living indoors.
i'm tame and comfortable and safe and, for the most part, that is the way i prefer my life to be.
but, watching GG Allin run around, stupid and immature and wild and free, i can't help but swell with respect for the man who has gone so far out of his way to make certain he is detached from society.
there was no coming back for GG Allin, no way for him to snap back to society and get a job managing a Foot Locker or whatever.
there is bravery in the way the man embraced anarchy as a lifestyle that i respect, more then any of his punk rock accomplishments or his schtick.

for being a movie that made me think about what is important, for reminding me that aiming for anarchy is a respectable life goal [as long as you don't get too close] and for giving me a newfound respect for a man i already respected as much as you can respect anybody who shits on the floor for a living, Hated: GG Allin And The Murder Junkies earns a 6.1/10.

//[ab irato ad astra]
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July 2017

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