xtitsx: (Default)
( 12 May 2017 02:08 pm)
i have been an allergic disaster for the past several weeks.
since about the second week in April my allergies have been kicking my ass up and down the street.
i blame the woman who gave birth to me.
long time TITS-readers will recall that i am adopted.
i am fine with that fact, grateful, really, because instead of having to be raised by a teenage woman who was clearly unprepared for motherhood she had the good sense to pass me off to a pair of well-off Jews who signed up for the job, but, i just wish the woman had the good sense to pack me away with several liters worth of breast milk for the ride.
i don't know if they knew back in 1981 that babies build up immunity to allergens through breast milk, i don't even know if that's a definite thing medical science knows now or if i've just made it up, but it sounds right and when you feel as shite as i do during allergy season, you want somebody to blame.

according to the PSE, i am allergic to tree and grass pollen.
every year when the trees and grass decide to start fucking each other the roof of my mouth starts itching, my eyes become itchy and watery, my ears pop, my nose gets all congested and i start giving serous consideration to throwing myself in front of a train.

when my allergies first hit this season i went to my medical cupboard and found two options for relief.
i had a packet of over-the-counter Taiwanese allergy pills from last Spring when the PSE and i were on our Great Adventure, and i had a bottle of prescription-strength allergy medication that i got from a free clinic back in 2013.
neither one did me much good.
the Taiwanese allergy pills might have had some effect, but there were only five of them in the pack and i went through then in five days.
i had plenty of the prescription stuff, but it was pretty much useless.
so, mostly i spent the first few weeks of allergy season feeling miserable.
it was so bad i would wake up in the middle of the night scratching at the roof of my mouth with my tongue.
i wanted to do something about this horror, but between being busy studying for Law School finals and having garbage Obamacare health insurance, i didn't think that there was much that could be done.
until finally i couldn't sleep through the night last Tuesday i was in so much discomfort and, when i finally got out of bed i resolved to do something about it.
i called up my Obamacare G.P. and i made an appointment to come in later in the day.
they didn't have any appointments with my physician, but there was a Nurse Practitioner who could see me and i guess that is good enough.

later that day...
my Obamacare doctor is basically just a free clinic that somehow i pay money for.
my Obamacare insurance in 2017 is the worst Obamacare insurance yet and the only doctor who will see me in all of the Fort Worth metroplex is the local teaching hospital.
every time i go there the waiting room is always full of the wretched of the earth; sad elderly people, cripples with plastic body parts, homeless Vietnam Vets.
this time there was even somebody wearing a helmet, shaking their head violently and spazzing out.
i don't like to make eye contact with anybody when i'm in the waiting room for fear that they might throw stuff at me.
but i'm a friendly sort of asshole and after a while i turned to a one-legged man sitting near me to make conversation.
he had tattoos all over his remaining three limbs and i asked if, when they took his leg, they took any good art work with it.
it was not the first time he'd been asked the question, and he had some jokes prepared.
it turned out, though, that he got bone cancer when he was sixteen.
the one-legged man was at the doctor's office to get a note for his parole officer explaining that he was on some kind of opioid to help with his phantom limb, or some shit.
his P.O. keeps trying to violate him.
i asked the guy how long he was on paper, which is convict jive for being on parole.
he said he's six years in to a ten year bid.
i didn't ask him what he was on parole for but i assume it wasn't running from the law.
[honestly, i feared it was going to be some kind of child molestation, so i didn't ask.]

after the better part of a half hour a nurse finally came around and called my name and the name of some other lady.
i guess we're going back to the exam room together?
the nurse put the lady on a scale in the hallway, i guess “134?” but i was off by over ten pounds.
the lady did not look like she was in her 140s.
then the nurse put the lady in an exam room, put me on the scale, and put me in a different exam room.
where i sat and waited for the better part of an hour.
i had a book to read, but it wasn't that great, so i perused different pamphlets on the wall.
i think i might have depression. and ulceritive colitis.

after a while a nurse came around, took my vital statistics and asked me what my problem was.
i told her, she made notes in the computer, then left me to wait around in the exam room some more.
finally a Nurse Practitioner came around.
i told her about my allergies and she felt my neck and looked in my ears and looked up my nose.
sure enough, the membranes in my nostrils had damned-near fused shut.
she wrote me out a prescription for Zyrtec-D and FloNaze, a decongestant nasal spray.
business concluded i went back up to reception where i met up with the 140-pounder who was also finished with her exam.
she needed to get a note from the Receptionist to excuse her from work.
she is a 5th Grade teacher in her first year.
i asked if she was going to make it to Year Two. it is not likely.
a pharmaceutical sales rep. who was hanging out in the waiting room waiting patiently for an opportunity to convince the doctors why they should push his drugs over some other companies chirped in to say that he taught middle school special ed. for a year before he threw in the towel.
teaching school is shite work, we all agreed.

the Receptionist did not demand payment when i left the teaching hospital but it's entirely possible they will send me a bill in the mail in a month or so.
my shitty Obamacare insurance has a $600 deductible and until i spend $600 of my own money, i have to pay out of pocket for any medical services i receive.
i have no love for Obamacare and i almost wish the Republicans would go ahead and repeal and replace it, but, of course, those dick-for-brains will only manage to make things worse, so...
damned either way.

when i left the teaching hospital i called my shit Obamacare insurance to see if they would cover the prescriptions i'd just been given.
they would not cover Zyrtex-D because they make an over-the-counter version and i should just take that.
they would cover my FloNaze which was fortunate because the people at the pharmacy wanted to charge me $43 for the stuff.
i drove over to the Wal-Mart which is our preferred pharmacy because they really do have significantly lower prices on drugs then other places, and i paced around the store for twenty-five minutes waiting for the goons behind the counter to fill my order.
i don't know why it takes twenty-five to take a FloNaze inhaler off the shelf and put it in a bag for me?
i asked the lady at the drop-off window, but she just told me “there is a process” which i took to mean “fuck you, we'll do it when we feel like.”

with the FloNaze that my Obamacare insurance covered, i bought myself some antihistamine eye drops and a package of Equate compare-to-Claritan, which is Wal-Mart's store brand allergy pills.
so far, the combination of the pills, eye drops and nasal spray seem to be working to keep my unwanted-baby weakness at bay.
i feel better now then i have in weeks.
every year i say to myself that i really ought to find a more permanent solution for my seasonal allergy crisis, i should have to spend weeks out of every year with my body attacking itself, but until i find a lactating woman who is willing to sell me some of her natural immunities, i don't know how i am going to do that.
not with my shite Obamacare, certainly.

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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