xtitsx: (Default)
( 6 Jul 2017 12:09 pm)
i got a text message from my pal Chunks last week.
it was a drawing of a man made out of dicks saying “hi, i'm dick-man.”
Chunks said “this reminded me of you,” though i'm not sure why.
i am not especially good at drawing dicks and i don't know that i've ever made any dick-related art.
except for the time the PSE and i made molds of my dick and sent them out as Christmas presents, but i don't think we sent one to Chunks and that's different, anyway.
but, it had been just about a year since Chunks and i last caught up so we spent the better part of an hour shooting text messages back and forth.
after living with Chunks down in Savannah, Georgia all of their lives and being home-schooled, Chunks' two children have decided to move up to up-state New York to live with their father and go to public school.
which meant Chunks got to take time off from motherhood for the school year, which seems nice.
good for her!
other then that, i don't know that Chunks had much else to say

i got a call from my pal Melissa last week.
she continues to be in a mostly-financial relationship with some poor sucker who pays her rent and gives her an additional $300 a week and doesn't get a goddamned thing in return.
Melissa doesn't particularly like the guy, she certainly doesn't respect him, but she would like him to marry her anyway, to make all of that financial support official.
she has demanded a $10,000 [or maybe $20,000?] ring, but, as of this post, the sucker has smarts enough to put the breaks on that.
apparently the guy has a therapist that he goes and talks to twice a week and apparently she is the one who is advising caution in this ridiculous, exploitative, one-sided relationship.
what Melissa needs to do is isolate the guy from his therapist and everybody else in his life so that her voice is the only one he hers.
throw a fit and say “i don't feel comfortable with you talking about me behind my back!!!” and demand that he stop seeing the therapist.
from there, it's just a matter of time before she can wear down any resistance or resolve the poor guy might have.
i told Melissa as much, but i don't feel good about it.

i got a call from my pal Doughnuts last Sunday.
he put me on speakerphone with his Chinese wife and their Boston Terrier as they drove around South Florida scouting locations to put in a pizza franchise.
despite being an attorney [and the only guy i know who has done anything respectable with his life] Doughnuts has spent the past year or so working for a commercial real estate company that [i think] does logistics for setting up different restaurants.
they are working with a casual pizza chain from California and Doughnuts' job is to be their representative in the area, i think.
this means driving all around south Florida looking at different plots of land for lease and guesstimating what kind of customers it could potentially attract.
i told him the age-old bit of racist wisdom that if he is within fifteen miles of a Martin Luther King Boulevard, or thirty miles of a Malcolm X Avenue, he better keep on looking.
i asked Doughnuts what the fuck he knows about being a land scout and apparently in the past year or so he says he's learned quite a bit.
he has also got quite an education on how pizza restaurants work, on everything from where to get the best deals on industrial ovens to what temperature pizza dough needs to be stored at [63 degrees.]
Doughnuts said that his ten-year plan involves opening a restaurant franchise of his own.
i imagine that he imagines that this will be a lark, a fun thing to do with disposable cash, not something he really wants to bust his ass on.
he said that to get a franchise for a restaurant like the casual California pizza chain it would be about a $500,000 expense, $80,000 cash out of pocket.
the idea of being on the hook for $500,000 gives me fucking agida, but apparently Doughnuts is okay with that kind of liability.
good luck with all that, friendo.

i got a text message from my pal Olivia last week.
she'd been thinking of me, i guess, and went to go check up on me on the LiveJournal.
well that's nice!
Olivia read that i'd got myself a motorcycle and we texted back and forth about that for a while.
apparently Olivia's grandma is some kind of a biker and used to live in a warehouse in San Francisco back in the 1960s with a bunch of other bikers and hippies.
well that's super interesting.
i asked Olivia how many sexual partners she thought her hippie/biker-old-lady grandma had, it has to be north of fifty, right?, but Olivia just said “i dunno, lol” and that was the end of that.
Olivia also told me that her dad was recently on an episode of The People's Court.
i'd never seen The People's Court before, i'm a Judge Judy man, but Olivia sent me a link to a YouTube and i watched Olivia's little, crazy-eyed dad lose a pretend lawsuit against his car mechanic.
apparently Olivia's dad took his twenty year old car into the shop to get the breaks fixed, then, several days after he picked it up, he crashed into some lady, causing $3,000 worth of damage.
Olivia's dad tried to sue his mechanic for not actually fixing the breaks but whoever the fuck Judge Wapner is these days wasn't buying it.
finding for the defense. case dismissed.
Olivia said that her dad got $700 just for appearing on the show, though, so that's something.

in other news Olivia is taking classes at the Community College.
her schedule this semester includes Photography, 2D design and Intro to Art.
i get the impression that Olivia isn't actually working towards any kind of degree, she's just taking all the fun classes at Community College just to get out our the house.
though, last semester she took an English class.
Olivia earned herself a B. English is her native language.
for money, Olivia has taken a job at a local diner.
she said it's good work and she enjoys it, though, like all diners in New Jersey, her boss is a Greek and Greek diner owners are the worst.
Olivia gets a free soup with every shift she works, though, so that's nice.
Olivia says the money she makes is 'pretty good' but i don't think Olivia has much of an understanding of what good money is.
she says she can make between $80 and $100 per shift, but she's working eight hour shifts.
Olivia lives with her mom, though, and doesn't have to make rent, plus, she gets to fill up on free soup, so i guess all of her money is disposable earnings she can spend on Beanie Babies, or whatever.
Olivia reports that the only problem with her waitress job is when she gets Black people as customers.
“they have so many requests and they are so rude!”
welcome to the world, Olivia.
“i'm not racist, though, lol” Olivia clarified.
it's okay, pal, i get it.

//[ab irato ad astra]

September 2017

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