xtitsx: (Default)
( 16 Sep 2017 04:59 pm)
sometimes, when i talk to old friends, will ask them the following question:
“if you were to wake up tomorrow morning to find the person you love most in the world has been kidnapped and held for ransom, what's the most money you could scrape together in a day or two to buy their release?”
this is, of course, my way of trying to ask them how much money they are worth.
people don't generally talk about money in polite conversation but polite conversation is boring and stupid.
how people manage their money is really interesting to me, so i try to bring the subject up whenever i can.
some of my friends can marshal an impressive amount of liquid cash if they need to, $70,000, $80,000, $100,000. most of my friends are dirt-poor scumbags.
it's been a while since i've written about my own assets, mostly because i've had other, more important shit to report about.
let's take today, though, to go over the books.
as of today's post...

+) the PSE and i have $1,176.03 in a checking account at the small, one-branch Credit Union across the street from our apartment.

+) i have $65 in cash in my wallet. the PSE has $41.

+) the PSE and i* have $30,029.90 in a high-yield savings account with American Express Savings.
*technically, the account is just in my name though the PSE's been contributing to our savings all this time and she is entitled to half of whatever the balance might be if and when we ever go our separate ways.
i used to contend that, in the event of a split, i would be entitled to $15,000 off the top from that time i won the Anarchist Lottery and got a settlement from D.C. for being illegally arrested when i was a twenty year old trouble-maker, but, after all this time with that Settlement money mingling with our communal money, it is hard to maintain that there is much of a distinction left.

since the PSE and i got back from our Great Adventure Around The World last year, our Savings has ranged from between $20,000 and $40,000.
for the past several months our Savings account balance was just a bit north of $25,000 because the PSE hasn't been interested in working for the past year.
we were only able to get our savings back above $30,000 last month and i don't know how sustainable it is for it to stay up there.
odds are, if the PSE continues to refuse to work a straight job, we will be back down to $25,000 before not to long.
maybe even lower then that.
however much money we have in Savings at any given time, we make 1% in interest every month, which, as interest rates go, isn't so bad.

+) the PSE and i have money invested together in two stocks, Nokia cellphones and CeMex which is a Mexican company that makes cement.
it was my idea to invest in CeMex several years ago.
our initial investment of $1,000 is now worth $907.08.
a few months ago CeMex held a big public announcement to say that if President Trump ever gets around to building that wall, they stand ready, willing and able to provide the cement.
if President Trump ever does somehow manage to find the political capital for a border wall it will be somewhere between a national embarrassment and a humanitarian shitshow, though, i'm hoping it will at least be good for my stock price.
so far, though, there is zero chance of that happening, and that's probably for the best.
Nokia was the PSE's idea.
she thought to herself that if we had invested in Apple way back before the I-Phone came out we've be fucking millionaires and that it's only a matter of time before the geniuses in Helsinki wake from their stupor and invent the next big thing in cellphones, again.
our initial investment of $500 is now worth $427.05.
so far, we're not doing so well.

+) i've got my own money invested into two stocks, Wal-Mart and Intel.
unlike my Anarchist Lottery winnings, i don't have the slightest intention of sharing this money with the PSE if and when we ever split up.
i earned this money back before i ever met the PSE and i invested it back before i ever met the PSE, when i was just twenty-one or twenty-two.
and i intend to use it to tide myself over until i can find another girlfriend to take care of me in the event that the PSE ever craps out on me.
Intel is currently worth $10,212.07.
Wal-Mart is currently worth $10,847.24.
i can't recall how much i invested in each, but i think it was about $8,000 in each, $16,000 total.
maybe a bit less?
i haven't made all that much for nearly fifteen years worth of investments.

+) the PSE and i both have American Express cards, mine has a maximum balance of $5,500 and the PSE's has a maximum of $4,500.
i'm not sure what accounts for the discrepancy. our credit scores are basically the same, around 760.
both cards frequently try to lure us into taking out high-interest cash advances.
every other time we log into the American Express website to pay our $50-or-so monthly balances it will tell us that we're pre-approved to borrow $6,600 each, for whatever that is worth.

+) i have a Capital One credit card with a $10,000.00 maximum balance.
i have never used the card, even one.

+) our rent is paid up through the end of October.
so are out utilities, except electric. a bill comes once a month for that. lately it's been around $65.

+) the PSE and i have a Volvo a piece, maybe worth a little more then $1,000 each if i needed to sell it today, plus i have a motorcycle, worth maybe $800.

+) the PSE's got a Pell Grant refund check coming to her in the mail any day now for $1,067.
Pell Grants are worth $5,775 per year for a full-time student but the PSE is only going to Community College half time.
that's $2,887.50 per semester from the gov'ment, but the Tarrant County Community College only charges $1,820.50 for half-time classes per semester so the PSE gets a refund check coming her way.
the PSE still had to pay nearly $300 for her books, but that's money she's already spent.

+) the PSE and i each have two more checks due to us from the Drug Study we're doing in Dallas.
by 3, October we are each due a check for $850 and then, by 31, October, we are each due another $1,650.

if you're to add up all of the assets listed above you would get a hostage price of $62,572.37 in liquifiable assets between the PSE and myself.
if you include lies of credit and loans, it's another $33,200.00
that's not so bad for two people who don't actually work for a living though, in the grand scheme of things if you're looking to really make it in the kidnapping business, you're probably barking up the wrong tree.

of course, the problem with all the numbers above is that it is all the money that the PSE and i have got in the world.
after the end of October when the last Drug Study check comes in and November's rent comes due, we don't have a dime coming in.
the PSE has been belligerently unemployed for the past ten months now and the few efforts she's made to get a job didn't take [see Monday's post.]
after all of the aforementioned money comes in, our well will be dry.
maybe more money will come from somewhere, and maybe it won't.
maybe i ought to give some thought to kidnapping my wealthier friends' loved-ones.

//[ab irato ad astra]

October 2017

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